If you're like me, then you have an uncanny knack for ending up in Chipotle. You love it, and it loves you. Honestly, Chipotle is better than a boyfriend in so many ways. So, here are 7 signs you are actually, in fact, dating Chipotle.
1. It's your go-to.
When in doubt, you know one place that will always welcome you with open arms. It’s 11 a.m. and you slept through breakfast again. You think to yourself, “That's alright, I want Chipotle anyways,” and you saunter on over to your closest safe haven. It's 10 at night, and you're about to go out with friends when you realize you haven't had dinner yet. No need to fear—you grab your besties and head on over to your second home. It's 3 p.m. and you're just hungry. So of course, you go to Chipotle. Chipotle is always the answer.
2. Chipotle never makes you cry...besides tears of joy
Yes, I have cried because of Chipotle, and I am not ashamed to admit it. When you see your burrito being made, the worker, your hero, wrapping your burrito up nice and tight, after applying just the right amount of cheese to sour cream ratio, and you feel it happening. You lift a finger up to your eye. And yes, it is in fact a tear. You never thought you could love something as much as this burrito that is yours, and yours alone.
3. You never grow tired of it
Yes, some basic folk only like getting one thing every time, but to satisfy the more adventurous soul, there are endless options to choose from. You can't just limit yourself to the famous burrito. Don't discriminate on the glorious tacos, the savory quesadillas, or the classic skinny girl bowl. Then there's the meat: you have every kind imaginable, whether you like light or dark meat, Chipotle has you covered. And you can even double it for you meat lovers. Multiple salsas, meat, beans, and rice choices. This is enough to satisfy even the most picky of people.
4. It's your late-night booty call
Its 2 a.m., and you just got back to your room. Your roommate is calling the guy she got the number from at the bar, and you are thinking of who you want to spend the night with. Then you remember: you have leftover Chipotle in your fridge. You sneak out, not wanting your roommate to know. You tiptoe down to your fridge, and cast quick glances to make sure no one is around. Then you take out your burrito and can't contain your unsatisfied hunger anymore. You eat it all, in fewer bites than you thought possible. If you're lucky, you'll also find some chips and guac, still fresh of course, and smuggle that up to your bed. You look at your roommate, at this point awkwardly positioned spooning with that boy, and you look at your Chipotle in your bed. You smile at your bag of chips and hold it close. Chipotle is your bae, forever and always.
5. Chipotle never lets you down
Why date someone when you can eat a burrito? Relationships fail, there is always a letdown. Your boyfriend forgets your reservation again, your girlfriend forgets that it's bros day. Expectations are bound to be let down. And they can say sorry all they want, but Chipotle? Chipotle will never forget your reservations, nor ever fail on bros day. Chipotle will never fail you, Chipotle will always be there.
6. Chipotle always answers when you call
That same roommate with the random guy in her bed is crying the next day because what's his name isn't calling her back. You give her a hug and dry her tears, but all you're thinking is how lucky you have it with Chipotle. Whenever you call, they always answer. And when they do answer, they are always happy to hear from you. So what if the staff is being paid to sound happy and interested in your life? You can't fake that kind of commitment. And if they miss your call for some reason, they always call back, unlike that boy that hit on you at the bar that you "accidentally" exchanged numbers with. Chipotle is, and always will be, the best boyfriend.
7. Everyone Likes It
You don't need to worry about your friends hating your significant other. No, in fact the opposite is true. People will beg to go to Chipotle with you, and you will always find someone to bond with over your shared love for the burrito. No one will tell you to end things, and everyone will be supportive of your budding relationship. Why? Because everyone loves Chipotle except for picky uptight people who have no taste buds—but let's be honest, you don't want to be friends with them anyways.
