For those of you who have read my articles, you know that I like to write for 20-something-year-olds and that’s because I feel like the 20s are such a crucial time for personal growth. When you’re a teenager, you’re still at the will of your parents, but in your 20s, you have to grow up fast and you evolve quickly. You’re a different person from the time you’re 20 to the time you’re 22. And at 23, you’re entirely different from the person you were at 21. Spending time alone is so important for your development and this is why:
1. You are able to experience things in your own way.
This means that you can take time doing the things you want to do. When you go out with friends, even if they have the same interests as you, you’re forced to go at their pace. It’s also important to know how you feel about things and not form opinions based on the people you hang out with. In solitude, you’ll be with your own thoughts and find your own voice. You don’t have to worry about when a friend is available either, you can just get up and go!
2. It forces you to be independent.
I’d say 80% of growing up is learning independence, from paying your own bills to being able to eat at a restaurant alone. As mentioned in my article, “The 6-Step Game Plan to Gain Self-Confidence” independence and confidence go hand in hand. Being alone not only forces you to be independent, but the freedom it gives you can strip away the self-doubt and insecurities that are holding you back from having self-confidence.
3. It’s okay to be selfish.
In fact, you SHOULD be selfish in your 20s. You have the rest of your life to worry about other people, such as a partner and potentially children. You are never going to be this young again, so take advantage of that fact and spend as much time as you can by yourself because when you have a family to take care of, you’re going to wish you spent more time alone.
4. You should enjoy your freedom.
Now is the time to go out, explore, and be free. Your freedom means a lot to you and if you’re in a relationship, your partner should be able to respect that and understand that you don’t always have to do things together. Sometimes you can still fly solo and your partner should be able to do that as well.
5. You don’t have to wait on your friends.
Everyone always has something they really want to do or some trip they really want to take, but they feel that they need someone to do it with. Well I’m going to tell you right now that if you’re waiting for you and your friend’s schedule to sync up to go to that beer garden you’ve been dying to check out, you’re probably going to be waiting for a long time. Just go! You have nothing to lose. In fact, you have everything to gain: quality time with yourself and meeting new people.
6. You’ll realize that you are enough.
Maybe one day you’ll find that perfect person, but finding them will become more of a desire rather than a necessity. You don’t need to be completed, you’re not half a person who desperately needs to find your other half. Spending time alone will give you a greater appreciation for yourself and the things you can accomplish on your own, without the help of others. You should strive to be a better version of yourself every day for you, not for anybody else.
7. Your future relationships will be more meaningful.
If you can comfortably spend time by yourself, you won’t ever have to worry about being dependent on another person to have a good time. Your future partner will know that alone time is important to you, so you won’t suffocate in a relationship. And because alone time will give you a deeper understanding of who you are, you’ll be able to make better choices about who you want to be with. Also, if you’re exploring different places on your own, it’ll be all the more meaningful when you do meet that special someone to take them to the places you discovered by yourself. Also, independence is just downright sexy.
I think that finding comfort in solitude is so important while you’re becoming who you are. So stop waiting until you get a boyfriend to travel or do what you want to do. In fact, stop reading this article and go now. Go do something by yourself. It’s so worth it, I promise.
