As I look back on high school, I can remember my time at St. Agnes with a warm feeling in my heart. It was there that I got to learn every day alongside some of the most talented, driven, and inspiring girls I have ever met. As I scroll through my Instagram feed, I am so proud to I see all of my old classmates having the times of their lives at their various orientations, prospering in their own unique ways. St. Agnes may have been a source of much stress and lack of sleep, but it also gave my class a sisterhood that we each rely on, even beyond graduation. One classmate in particular changed my life, as well as the entire St. Agnes community, in more ways than I thought possible. There is a quote by Amelia Earhart that says, “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” Evangeline Carson has taught me what it means to love without condition, talk without bad intention, give without any reason, and most of all care for people without any expectation. Her smile lights up a room and I will forever be in awe of how one person can use every day to brighten the lives of everyone around her. Not everyone gets to have a Van Carson in their life, so I’ve created a list of lessons I have learned from being her friend. Here are seven things that Evangeline Carson taught me.
You want to wear glitter eyeshadow? Wear glitter eyeshadow.
The first time I met Van was at tryouts for the Tiger Girls Dance Team before our freshman year. We were both racked with nervousness praying to the Lord that we could become Tiger Girls, not even realizing how impactful this team would end up being in our lives. Van, unapologetically, wore glitter eyeshadow up to her eyebrows, and I can think of nothing more fitting to describe her personality. OK yes, maybe now that we’re older we look back on those pictures and laugh since four years on the dance team has trained us to be exceptional makeup artists, but on that audition day Van rocked that eyeshadow and made her dancing stand out even more than her eye makeup. Van taught me that you owe no one an explanation for why you choose to act, dress, talk, or live life the way you do. Acting and dressing the same as everyone else is great if you want to settle for being camouflaged, but at the end of the day do you really want to be a carbon copy of someone else? Don’t just be different, do what feels good to YOU. If glitter eyeshadow makes you feel like a rockstar, wear it. If wearing pleather pants in 100-degree Houston weather makes you feel like a million bucks, ignore the snide remarks. If you feel most comfortable with no makeup on with your hair looking like a rat’s nest, own it! Confidence is the best accessory and no outfit is complete without it.
Getting ready isn’t fun unless you’ve got some fire locker room jams.
Two things our dance team looked forward to on Fridays: Friday night football and the process of getting ready for those games. The second that school bell rang to dismiss classes on Fridays, we’d all sprint to the locker rooms, makeup bags in hand, ready to fight for a spot in front of the mirror. Once everyone claimed their territory, flat irons were plugged in, girls whipped out their makeup brushes, and one lucky person would become the D.J. for the night. Having the aux chord was serious business…three strikes and you were on probation from aux chord privileges (cough cough, Rachel). Anyone that hasn’t experienced a Tiger Girls locker room before a football game may not understand, but basically it’s a two-hour process of alternating between dancing, putting on makeup, straightening hair, and more dancing. Or attempting to do all at the same time, in Van’s case. You know your locker room is lit when you sweat more from cheering on Van and Kendall when they’re freestyling than you do during the actual game. Dressed in our performance bras and tights, twerking to Tinashe, somehow these moments in the locker room brought us all together. I don’t know how we did it, but somehow we would always manage to be ready for dinner with full game-day-ready hair and makeup, ready to put on our boots and take the field.
Leadership is an action, not a position
Brenna, the colonel of our dance team, said this quote to our officer line constantly when I was an officer on the dance team. It was a a mantra that we all said to remind ourselves that we weren’t entitled to our positions, but I didn’t fully understand the quote until I saw how Van embodied it. In and outside of dance, Van was someone people looked up to…not because she put herself on a pedestal but because she constantly lifted others up. She was the kind of person that everybody willingly wanted to follow. I don’t think she was aware of just how much everyone respected her because I don’t even think she was deliberately trying to be a leader…she just was. When she ran for student body president, there was no doubt in my mind that she would earn the spot as the leader of our school. She wasn’t just running in order to fill a space on her college resume or because she wanted to assume some role of power. She loved St. Agnes and every single person at St. Agnes, and she transcended the title throughout her presidency.
Talent is overrated.
Joining the dance team our freshman year, both of us inevitably spent most of our time in the back row of every formation, dreaming about one day becoming great dancers so that we could eventually be in the coveted front row. Van hadn’t had any previous dance experience, but rather than settling for mediocrity, she worked twice as hard as anyone on the team. Not being trained in dance should have been an ultimate disadvantage for her, but this disadvantage lit a fire in Van that made her intent on consistently improving. Her journey on the team was not without its successes and failures, but she remained persistent in her dream to be the best dancer she could be. From the back row to eventually becoming captain of the hip hop team, Van set an example of exactly what it means to reap the rewards of hard work.
Announcing to the world that you’re having a bad day doesn’t make your day any better.
Stop hating the world just because you have an econ test today. Life is short, don’t sweat the small stuff.
Every friend was once a stranger.
In your lifetime you will continue to meet a countless number of people. How many people will be able to look back and be appreciative that they met you? Whether you gave them a compliment on a day where they were feeling low, were a shoulder to cry on when they hit their breaking point, or celebrated alongside them when they received that college acceptance letter, people will remember moments with you whether you realize it or not. Every person you meet deserves to be changed for the better from knowing you. Don’t be afraid to talk to people you don’t know because you could be missing out on someone truly beautiful. Going out of your way to start a conversation with the shy girl in your math class or visiting that interesting teacher during lunch are never wasted opportunities. Get to know people. You won’t be disappointed.
The best way to demonstrate God’s love is to be a living, breathing, example of it.
“Each time a person passes by you and you say 'hello,' imagine that person turning into a candle. The more positivity, love and light you reflect, the more light is mirrored your way. You should start seeing hellos as small declarations of faith. Every time you say hello to a stranger, your heart acknowledges over and over again that we are all family.” --Suzy Kassem
In a society where it feels like more people preach than they practice, Van has shown me what it means to demonstrate Jesus’ love in its purest form. She loves people that she doesn’t even know, and if she ever had an enemy you wouldn’t know it. She treats everyone with the respect that their thoughts and opinions are valid, and no stranger walks away from a conversation with Van feeling like a stranger anymore. Instead of talking about how people should love others, Van goes out of her way and truly does love others. Seeing her live out Christ’s message of love has shown me how significant it can be to live with the same compassion and selflessness as Jesus.
“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness can cause misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” -- Albert Schweitze
Evangeline Carson is someone that lives every single day like there is something to celebrate, makes every person feel like the most interesting person in the world, and radiates enough kindness to melt the hearts of the cynical. When I think about what college will be like, it makes my heart heavy to think that even amongst the hundreds of thousands of people on campus, I will never meet anyone on the same caliber as Van Carson.
Van, I am jealous of anyone that gets to become your friend in college, because the thought of not seeing you every day makes my heart hurt. You're going to change this world and I am so blessed to have been able to meet someone like you. I can't wait for the Red River Rivalry game and I'll be sure to cross enemy lines to give you the biggest hug in the world. I love you Van and thank you for being the most selfless friend I could ask for.
