Porching at a fraternity during a college Game Day is a very normal part of every frat star's Game Day experience. But, what if your parents decide to come up for a Game Day and want to hang out with you? This is super real and very stressful. Here is a complete guide for what to do when/if this happens to you.
1. Hide
It’s kind of up in the air how effective this will be, considering your parents obviously know you’re at the U somewhere. Maybe hide for a little bit and then suggest you guys hit up Annie’s or something as a fam for a mid-Game-Day snack? This way, you can avoid allowing your parents to step foot in a fraternity and also get some free food out of this situation.
2. Tell them they're not on the list
This is technically not a lie. I mean, even if you’re in a sorority and you’re not on the list at a frat you can’t get in. Why should parents get special treatment? Sorry Dad, you’re too much of a goober to be allowed into this fraternity. See you at the game later. Maybe buy me a corn dog?
3. Fake your own death
This is dramatic. But realistically, what could be worse than letting your parents come to a frat on Game Day? Probably nothing. A fellow member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, Maggie Beecroft, informed me that her entire family went to a fraternity last Game Day and Maggie says she “literally almost cried.” So there you have it. Avoid this situation at all costs.
4. Tell them they won’t like the music
This is also true. Do parents typically like super techno-ee remixes of the Weeknd and "What Do You Mean" by J Biebs playing over and over again? I think not. Mom, you would have so much more fun if you just go to the game ahead of me! I promise I’ll catch up with you later, byeeeee!
5. Tell them you're out of the country – or just in Madison
Madison also has Game Days, and perhaps you wanted to be a little different and hit that up? Or better yet, maybe you were feeling super #InterGreek and wanted to make some new #GreekFriends at Madison. Real talk this would be a totally cute field trip. Have so much fun tailgating without me, fam! I’ll either be five hours away pretending to be a Badger for the weekend or straight up out of the country.
6. Volunteer to work
This is really a last resort, and might even be more dramatic than faking your own death, because literally nothing is more real than the FOMO associated with working on a Game Day. Just ask Alyssa Boddicker. Missing Game Day will be next to the worst thing ever, but in the long run, you will have made some money and avoided having your parents enter fraternity property. So in the end, it’s really just a small sacrifice.
