I've been in relationships where very few to none of these requirements were met and I can tell you personally how awful it was. My current boyfriend has not only set the bar high, but he has helped me gain lots of self confidence and has been there for me through some very rough times. The most important lesson I've learned from him, however, is one of the most important lessons I'll ever learn: never settle. Here's a list of things that I believe we should all demand from our friendships and relationships.
1. You should be treated with respect
I'm not talking about the kind of respect where he does the dishes, so you mow the lawn. Sure, that's included, but the kind of respect I'm talking about is the kind where he respects you as another human being. As a couple, it is natural in the beginning to fall into a pattern of spending all your time together and doting over each other. This is just a phase, however, and it won't last. Respecting someone means acknowledging that you are two separate people who have decided to come together. This doesn't mean you become one. This means you are like magnets. Together, but with the capability of coming apart.
2. Your S/O should treat you as an equal
When I was younger, I had this idea that I was to grow up and be subservient to men. I wasn't necessarily equal so much as the woman in the background. Honestly, I don't know where the hell I got THAT idea from, but it is what I believed. Treating someone as your equal means that while you should be supporting your partner's dreams, he or she should also be supporting yours.
3. He or she should put in the effort
I cannot say this enough. A clear sign of someone not caring is them not putting in any effort. Words mean nothing. When it comes down to it, people will show you how they think you deserve to be treated. The best thing you can do is listen to them. Pay attention to the people who don't clap when you win. That clear lack of effort speaks volumes about where you stand, and if that's where you stand, you should be walking away.
4.Your partner must be willing to negotiate
Negotiation is a huge part of the human experience and that should be no different for relationships. Day in and day out there are constant negotiations to be made and if you are with someone who is stubborn and not willing to work with you, how do you expect to move forward? Not every decision in your relationship is going to make you happy, but it's those little sacrifices that show you can bend without breaking.
5. He or she should respect your boundaries
Just because you are in a relationship with someone, doesn't mean you have rights to whatever you want. Just because I'm in a committed relationship with you doesn't mean you can eat my Talenti from the freezer. On the flipside, this also means if I'm not feeling sex tonight, I'm not feeling it, and I expect you not only to respect that, but to not hold it against me.
6. Lastly, your person needs to make you happy
So many people waste time with the wrong person because they feel bad or they don't want to put in the effort to find someone else, and honestly these are the worst types of people. You are not only prohibiting someone else's happiness, you're prohibiting your own.
I truly didn't know that by entering the relationship I am in now, I would learn so much about myself and grow the way that I have. My boyfriend has not only met (and exceeded) the above criteria, but he has helped me grow as a person and THAT is definitely they type of someone I could see myself starting a life with..
