By the time you reach your final year of college, most people have experienced the loss of someone they love. Whether it be a parent, sibling, grandparent or friend, the loss of someone who you hold dear shakes everything you once knew. No amount of money would ever be enough to cover how badly you would give to hug them again, eat their finest cooking, or hear their voice just one last time. Here are six things I wish I could say to my lost loved one:
1. I kept your most important things.
Don’t worry: I made sure to save your most favorite shirt and your favorite winter hat. I also hope you don’t mind that I saved your coin collection and even added a few of my own. Some of my most favorite things have grown to be the things that meant the most to you.
2. I remember you always.
I think of you often throughout the day. There are times I see things and think of how hard they would have made you laugh, or just want to call you because you’ve crossed my mind. I mention you often with friends and family and other who were fortunate enough to feel your shine. I want you to know that no matter how much things appear to change, I’ll never for a second forget you. I will make sure no one else forgets you either.
3. I hope I’ve made you proud.
I hope you saw when I passed my driver’s test. I hope you heard how loud the crowd was in my first Varsity game. I hope you were proud when I got my first college acceptance letter and you are happy with the path I chose. I know that even though you aren’t physically next to me, you’re still with me in everything that I do.
4. I love you.
You taught me how to truly care for a person. You taught me to be humble, compassionate, caring, and kind. More importantly, you showed me what it was like to be loved. I know just how much I meant to you. No matter what, you will always be the most important thing to me.
5. I do not blame you.
I know that you did not leave this world by choice. In times of tragedy we tend to look for people to find at fault, but I want you to know I don’t blame you, even if you might have heard me say that I did. I know now that this was something so much bigger than you or I. I know that you would change it if you could.
6. I am okay.
I want you to know that losing you was the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Some days are easier than others, and some days feel impossible to go through. Some days it seems like no amount of time will heal my wounds. But I guess coping is not about healing. It is about finding things to stitch us back up; to hold us together make the pain more bearable. I know that you would have wanted me to be happy. And I want you to know that I really am. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for me.
