Many people, including myself, refer to their high school years as the lowest point in their lives. Paper after paper, assignment after assignment, test after test. Students have to balance out their extracurriculars with their social lives, then try to squeeze in a few hours of downtime and/or sleep, only for the cycle to start again the next day. However, looking back now, there's some tough-love advice I'd like to give to my timid, overly-anxious self.
1. It's OK that you're an introvert, but try to speak up more often.
I understand that it's uncomfortable for you to speak your mind in a group setting, whether it's to answer a teacher's question or to add input during a friendly debate at the lunch table. Sometimes, observing is more interesting than participating. However, staying behind in shadows or blending in with the white walls behind you won't make you a better person conversationally. The real world is full of spoken words, phrases and sentences. You have to talk your way through life, so high school is good preparation for it. A simple two-sentence rebuttal during a discussion is an amazing start; it's going to be a gradual process.
2. Mistakes are a part of life and you can learn from them.
Perfectionism is your strength and your weakness. You work diligently until the finished product is the quintessential example of what you envisioned, but you're also deathly afraid of doing something wrong along the way. Mistakes happen, big and small, and there's nothing that you can do to truly undo the damage. Instead of panicking over the outcome, think to yourself, "What can I learn from this? How can I avoid this kind of problem in the future?" Dust yourself off and march on forward.
3. You can't please everyone.
Not everyone is going to like you for whatever reason, but that's OK. You don't exist to be everyone's favorite person, so you shouldn't try to be. Plus, it's tiring to accommodate to every single person down to the last little detail. Focus on yourself and you should be fine, whether they like you or not.
4. Stop taking your family for granted.
They've been there for you through thick and thin. They're still there for you now. But that doesn't mean you can lash out at them whenever your stress levels are high, as if they're your verbal punching bags. You're not the only high schooler on this planet who's having a hard time, nor are you the only person who's struggling with life. Do your best not to upset your loved ones. Also, please go to them when you need someone to talk to. Their kindness and support is, by far, the best of them all.
5. Your physical, mental and emotional states are more important than the numbers on your transcript.
Yes, grades and GPA matter, but how you're feeling should be top priority. You stressing over your schoolwork shouldn't get to the point that you have an emotional breakdown or an anxiety attack. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stop what you're doing or thinking about, take a few deep breaths and step away for however much time you need to clear your mind. Catch up on the shows you've missed, read a few pages of that book you've barely started, keep bobbing your head to the song you always have on repeat or take a long nap. Calm yourself down and clear your mind. You're human, not a machine, and you need and deserve breaks once in a while.
6. Be confident in who you are and what you do.
Self-esteem goes a long way, especially at an age when anything and everything can greatly influence you. The media certainly isn't a girl's best friend in helping her feel good about herself, but you need to ignore what the billboards and screens tell you. You also should stop worrying about what other people say or think about you; paranoia will do little to no good. Take pride in your accomplishments, in your intellect, in your appearance, in yourself. Walk with your head held high, with the poise, grace and chic nature of those you look up to. Even if it begins as mere mimicry, as the saying goes, you have to fake it 'til you make it. Trust me, it works wonders.
It took me my entire first year in college to learn the above six points, and it would've been better if I realized these things much sooner. To those of you who are currently trudging through the war zone known as high school, you're not alone!
