"Girls are so complicated and complex," said every guy ever.
Well, yes we are, and are we sorry? No. We are specifically created to make your lives way more complicated, but without us, your lives would be beyond boring. I know, I know. We cry all the time over sappy movies or just for no reason. We expect you to know exactly what we are thinking and when we want something without saying it. We may be a little crazy, but we know you secretly love us for it. Even then, sometimes boys don't understand what it means to be a girl. You don't know what it means when we're sitting in bed crying with no good reason other than McDreamy and Meredith got married on a Post-it note, and we think it's the most romantic thing that has ever happened on TV. So as a result, here are five solid, important things for you, the guys, to understand abuts or our "species" as you sometimes say it:
1. There multiple reasons why it takes us so long to get ready.
You know that hot chick that comes out of the bathroom after she looked like she slept for about 15 hours and had massive bedhead? Yeah, reversing that look doesn't happen in ten minutes. We have long hair that needs to be dried, we have a face that needs to cover up every hour of studying stained on it, and we have to look like we somewhat know what the word fashion means. Plus, let's be honest, we know you love it when we come out of the bathroom looking like the new Mila Kunis.
2. What we don't say to you is key.
"I'm fine." - No, we're not. We want you to pry it out of us so we know you care. Ask us a million times until we threaten your life if you ask again then we actually are fine.
"Oh no, you don't have to pay." - We really mean, we're broke. We can't afford your elephant appetite. Sorry, we're not sorry.
"You didn't need to get me anything." - Thank goodness you got us something! We love that you disobeyed us and loved us through gift giving.
"Oh my gosh, that stuffed animal/necklace/shirt is so cute!" - We're actually saying secretly buy it for us because we'd love you forever when you surprised us with it at the end of the day.
3. A helpful hint for that one week out of the month when you hate us.
Most guys don't understand this one. There are 10 million hormones going through at one time for seven days. It's amazing we are able to even function sometimes. All you need is to have a bag of Hershey kisses, The Notebook, and tell us we look pretty even though we look like Cruella Devil on a bad day. It'll tame us down for at least a few hours, and we'll love you for it. When we cry for absolutely no reason at all, tell us we're still so cute even with rivers of mascara running down our cheeks. You'll win a huge compliment to her best friends the next day saying how jealous they should be.
4. We don't want to go to bed upset, ever.
To you, it may be just a little tiff that you'll sleep off, and then you'll wake up like nothing ever happened. On our end, it goes more like this:
- Stay up all night.
- Planning how to plot your death without getting caught.
- Realize we love you too much to kill you.
- Cry all night because we feel like we aren't good enough for you and that you hate us.
- Wake up, and repeat.
Before you risk our life, just tell us everything is fine, that you love us so much, and you'll talk to us in the morning. It's safer that way... for you.
5. The double "F" - food and flowers.
Don't even ask us where we want to go to eat, because we never know. If you force us to pick a place, it will most likely be the same place every time. You can't go wrong with food in general. It's the way to a girls' heart, not just a man's.
Flowers do a multitude of things for your benefit. If you got us flowers, you could screw up for the next three days, and we wouldn't care because you got us flowers. They kind of mesmerize us because every time we see them in the vase, we think how amazing you are for going out of your way to get us something so beautiful.
The double "F" cures any fight, or at least cushions it for the time being.
6. She wants you to show her off.
I think this is the most important one, so I saved it for last. Fellas, take a minute to appreciate your girl on with a post of Facebook or put up a the latest cute photo ya'll took. It'll make her day to know you are not afraid to be sappy and cute for the world to see. Plan a nice night out, so she can't get all dolled up. This way she's happy, and you can show the town how pretty your girl truly is. Lastly and most importantly, always tell her you love her no matter who's around.
