American society is built around cars. Economic giants have been built on the back of the automobile. And getting your license is one of our culture’s last real rite of passage to adulthood.
But sometimes, things don’t work out like they’re supposed to. Maybe you never got your license. Maybe you can’t afford a car. Maybe you’re unable to drive. Regardless, you —like me— find yourself car-less in a four-wheeled world. Here are some of the struggles our people face.
1. You’re eternally a burden to your friends.
Everyone is making plans of where to go or where to eat. Everything is planned and set. That is, except for who has to play soccer-mom for your sorry-self. They’re happy to oblige, but the awkwardness is always there. There’s no cool way to ask “Can you drive me home?”
2. Public transportation is your lifeblood…
When it becomes a matter of getting to work/class on time, you get to the bus schedules better than your family’s birthdays. Of course, this is complicated when the bus driver starts to get sloppy with the schedule (I’m looking at you, Perkins bus drivers).
3. …until there is none.
In my hometown, the only way to get to civilization without a car is by calling an ambulance. And I’m pretty sure they don’t accept “really needs a latte” as a valid emergency.
4. You may have to get a ride with sketchy characters.
Sometimes getting to that party or making that flight on time means that you have to get driven by a stranger. Sometimes you get to make a friend. Sometimes this stranger only goes by “Skeeter” and is sporting pupils the size of dinner plates. But hey, that’s why they have seat belts, right?
5. Dating gets even more complicated.
“Hey Jenny, I can’t pick you up from your place but I have special bandaids for foot blisters so don’t worry. I mean, you said you like long walks on your dating profile. Just instead of a beach, it’s inner-city Rochester.”
6. For the love of god, Uber please save us.
When Uber tried to expand to Upstate New York, cab drivers protested. I feel bad they might be losing their jobs, don’t get me wrong. But only in the same way I feel bad about the horses that turned into glue when we got rid of horse-drawn carriages.
I care way less about the implications of crowd-sourcing what was once regulated labor when I’m being charged $25 to get driven from the airport to campus. If cab drivers want to get paid five bucks a minute, they can become high end phone-sex operators.
