Welcome to every college student's worst nightmare: finals week. It’s that time of year again, folks, when the days get longer (because you're staying up past midnight every day) and the nights get shorter (so much work so few hours). At a time like this, where we are all buried beneath piles of work and await the end of our misery and the start of our summer, it is important to have an inspirational figure to guide and motivate us. Rory Gilmore is the perfect example: studious, fun-loving, quirky and funny. Let her be your mentor during this dark, stressful time.
Stage 1: Denial.
This stage occurs maybe two or three weeks before finals week actually begins and is often associated with phrases such as, The final is several weeks away I’m not worried or I’ll start thinking about studying next week and the famous last words, I’ve got plenty of time. Be real with yourselves people: finals are coming.
Stage 2: Acknowledgment.
With about one week to go this stage starts. You feel ready to start studying but not necessarily ready to put in all the effort. The pit in your stomach starts to form, but not enough to really get you to do anything about it. You maybe start to collect your notes and create basic study guides, but nothing too major is done at this stage. It's characterized more with thinking about studying rather than actually starting to study.
Stage 3: Determination.
Finally it occurs to you that your finals are just a few days away, and you start studying like crazy. You make study guides, catch up on all the readings, watch PowerPoints, start drafts of essays. The library becomes your second home and your friends start to wonder where you’ve been. You start to feel the pressure coming on, but you are too motivated to let it overtake you. At this point, you still function like a normal human being -- finding time for a decent amount of sleep, eating a regular amount each day, and even fitting in an hour or so for the gym.
Stage 4: Frenzy.
After days of determined studying and working, you realize there is absolutely no way in heck you will be able to prepare as much as you should for all of your exams and papers and projects and presentations. You become aware of your denial phase and you start to hate yourself. In retribution, you stay up past midnight for several days in a row, start living solely off of caffeine and don’t wash your hair for a couple of days. You become a walking train wreck. You know you are experiencing this stage when people start to avoid you because you look insane.
Stage 5: Reckoning day.
Today is the day: your first exam of the week. You (maybe) showered to wake yourself up; you did (not) get enough sleep; you (hopefully) feel prepared. You walk into the classroom and sit down at a desk, hoping to all goodness that you will survive and emerge victorious. The week is just getting started and you cannot afford to die this early on.
Stage 6: Release.
You made it. One week full of stress and nervous breakdowns, but you made it out alive. You walk out of your last exam feeling half-zombie, half-world conqueror. You await the arrival of your parents and when they drive up in front of your building you cry tears of joyful relief. While your packing up your room you feel as though you are in a trance or a dream -- probably due to the lack of mental capacity you have following what you just endured. Eventually, you drive off into the sunset feeling sleep-deprived, still a little insane, drained and basically dead, but happier than ever. Summer is here and you could not be more happy about it.
