Man, what a time to be alive. Drake is right, this is the best time for us to be alive. We're young and have our entire lives ahead of us and we should enjoy every second of it. Singleness is something that everyone struggles with at one point and time in their life and it's OK. Yes, you heard me right. The world makes being single seem lame, a horrible time in your life and kind of as a bad thing. Shut out the lies of what the world has to say about being single and start looking at the benefits and God's purpose for this time in your life. There are various reasons as to why He has you single right now:
1. To draw you closer to God and build your relationship with Him
This is the time when the Lord works in and through you the most. It prepares you for what is to come. I know there are some things that I have to work on myself to prepare me for the future (loving people better, being more patient, being slow to anger etc). Take advantage of this time and really marinate in it.
2. Sin
Maybe there's some sin you need to face before He can place someone in your life. I've learned that two sinners don't cancel each other out or make things better. Get right with yourself and the Lord before entering into a relationship.
3. To use this time wisely by serving Him and others.
There may be certain things that He has planned for you that you can't do while you're in a relationship or even married. He's molding you everyday into the person you're meant to be. Don't just sit there in your singleness fiddling your fingers while waiting on the Lord to bring your potential boyfriend. Go out and serve your people! Love on them.
4. Work on being patient.
Being patient is key! I don't know about you guys, but I can be very impatient when it comes to certain things, but the Lord is slowly working on me in that area. This is how I see it: You know how after you order your food and it seems like the waitress has forgotten about you? Thirty minutes later and you still don't have your food. Believe it or not that's how we are with God at times. Sometimes we feel like God has forgotten about us because He's not moving quick enough. In Ecclesiastes 3:1 it says, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven." Timing is everything. He wants the best for us and if that means waiting for so and so days, months, years then so be it! It'll be worth it in the end. He may not come when we want Him to, but He'll come right on time.
5. Before you can be with someone you need to know what it really means to be alone.
Alone. No distractions. Where are all of my hardheaded and stubborn ladies at? (*raises hand high) Ladies let's be honest, we have a tendency of calling up an ex or someone we know darn well we shouldn't be talking to just to satisfy that fleshy feeling. While you're single it should be just you and the Lord. He should be the only one you go to when you're feeling weak. So no more going to guys to make you feel better or to fill a void in your life. God wants you to run into His arms. Once you've encountered the love of God you'll never be the same and the love of man will never compare. The feeling that man gives us us temporary, but the feeling that God gives us lasts forever. So don't rush. Just trust God's timing and remember that somewhere, someone's also waiting for you.
The main thing I love about the life of Jesus is that He was perfect living example. He actually lived a life of singleness. Jesus was single His entire life. For 34 years He didn't have a wife, chick on the side, girlfriend, boo thang or anything like that. He was solo dolo. That's pretty intense. He was into His people and fulfilling the will of His father. Jesus was more concerned about His father's business, serving His people and living the life that we could never live. Are you more concerned about whom you're going to marry or fulfilling the needs of the father? This alone time is precious and should be taken seriously and with care.
There have been many of times where I have heard a couple of my friends, myself included, say that they're tired of being alone and that they can't wait to get a boyfriend so they can finally be happy. Here are a couple questions for you to think about: who says you can't be happy alone? Why aren't you happy already? Why do you need to depend on a man for your happiness? What's holding you back from being truly happy?
6. So you won't settle.
Have you heard the saying, "I'd rather be alone and happy than miserable and in a relationship?" Well, it's true. I'd rather be happy and content by myself than be miserable with someone else who isn't going to treat me right or live up to the standards that god has for me. As I look down my news feed on social media, I see a lot of young girls desperately wanting a relationship, not because they're ready but because they want someone to satisfy that feeling of wanting to be loved and they don't want to be alone. Initially they're finding their happiness and identity in man. You have to be happy in the Lord before you can be happy in a relationship. Where does your happiness come from, this world or the Lord? Your time of singleness is where you learn to be content in the Lord before we can be content in the person God has for us.
"When the right person that God has called you to be with comes into your life, they will honor and respect God first, which will in turn allow them to honor and respect you."
When it's just you and the Lord everything becomes clearer. Spending quality time with the Lord has really opened my mind and hear to a lot of things. It's like when you're driving in the cold and your windows begin to fog so much that you can't see anything, but when you turn on your windshield wipers everything starts to become clearer and you can see where you're going. At times when we can't see where we're going in life or why we're going through a certain season, the Lord will slowly wipe away that fog and reveal to us our destination and tell us why, all we have to do is go to Him.
Though you may be going through this season right now keep in mind that Jesus does have someone special waiting for you you just have to be patient and wait. I know that times can be tough and it may seem like you can't get through it, but remember that "those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint"- Isaiah 40:31. The strength of the Lord is our crutch. You are strong because He is strong.
When you truly enjoy your singleness you'll appreciate your relationship/marriage 100 times better. Keep in mind that even though you're single there's someone who desires the absolute best for you and will never fail you. He cares so much for you. You are the bride of Christ!
