Growing up being the oldest can be a blessing and a curse. Your family has high expectations of you and won’t let a single mistake pass by. But you can set the bar as high as you want just to get back at your siblings. For me, those expectations are doubled by being the first grandchild on my mother’s side. Not only do I have to please my parents, but my entire family as well. Everyone tends to point out the mistakes I commit which tend to turn into lectures about life.
Why do I say being the oldest has its problems? Don’t get me started.
1. Since I am the eldest, everyone expects A LOT from me. I must be responsible, mature, and conscious of every decision I make. I can’t be out late because that’s not the right example for my sisters. I know they want my sisters to see me as their role model but it has become hard to live up to their expectations.
2. Although my sisters are ages six and eight, and care mostly about their toys, it seems that I am expected to guide their paths when they are older. Thus, I must know everything.
3. Helping others out is your full-time job. What does this mean? It means that I must drop everything I am doing so I can help others. If my cousin needs help writing a report, she just expects that I am able to assist. Does my aunt need help filling out paper work? Guess who she calls? ME. It gets frustrating but at the same time it makes me feel especially that I am the first person they go to.
4. Consciously knowing that every decision impacts your parents. Culturally, I am expected to make decisions that will make my friends look good. As the eldest, I feel like I must do it because I am able to understand the stresses my parents face. Sometimes my expectations impact me, and desire that so much wasn’t expected of me.
5. You become the designated babysitter. If your parents have to go out, they do not need a babysitter because they have you: the responsible and mature older child. I constantly have to take care of my sisters; I don’t mind because I love those two little ones. However, sometimes priorities like school make it difficult for me to babysit, but the expectations of caring for my siblings remains despite the priorities.
6. You CANNOT make mistakes! A simple mistake can turn into a huge lecture, or you’re frowned upon. Parents constantly need to bring up your past mistakes all the time, even to family members, and that is when everyone starts judging you.
7. Being told to be the “bigger person” when you fight with your siblings. Even though my sisters are little, that doesn’t mean that we do not argue. In fact, we get into arguments because they do not listen to me and my parents always say to go be the bigger person, because I am 20, and they are just eight. No, tell them to listen to me, and we will not have an issue.
The eldest children put enough pressure on themselves, but sometimes it doesn’t compare to the expectations set by our family. If we fail we don’t let out ourselves down, we let out parents and siblings down too.
