First things first, this is not in any means an anti-relationship message. Getting to know new people is seriously the best, but every now and then I ponder the ways in which the dating game has evolved. Our generation has developed some questionable trends when it comes to relationships. There are six reasons in particular that give me figurative heartburn.
1.Unreal expectations
Due to the amazing invention of social media it seems as if beautiful people are literally in the palm of your hand. With the 1,000 different filters, photoshopping apps and built-in editing options, it’s basically impossible to resist the urge to get on the flawless grind. However, just because a cutie on your timeline uses #NoMakeup, #AllNatural, and #NoFilter does not mean it’s necessarily true, and that’s OK! What isn’t OK is the fact that now people expect for you to be a blemish-free, perfectly saturated, glowing creature. If you don’t fit into these categories, then you immediately get a swipe to the left, and it’s really a bummer. We all have flaws, unless your name is Beyoncé, and it’s important to embrace your differences. In the words of Rihanna, work, work, work, work, work.
2. Define the relationship
Defining a relationship is code for defusing a ticking time bomb. It’s an emotionally draining process that I cannot grasp the concept of. There are now several stages leading up to an actual relationship -- one might compare it to Dante’s "Inferno." For example, I had a friend who was “talking” to someone for eight months, and in this time they did not see other people and spent almost every waking hour with one another. Relationship status, right? Wrong, they were committed to the talking life. I’m just saying, if you try to explain what “talking” means to your grandparents, they will shamelessly judge you.
3. Netflix and chill
When did this activity become relationship goals? While I am unsure of the origins of this activity, I know that it has made its way into the hearts of many. That really sucks. Instead of going on adventures and spending quality time with our significant others, we settle for snack-less, lame, makeshift dates. I have nothing against Netflix or chilling, but I prefer to binge watch "Grey’s Anatomy" without someone invading my personal space, thank you very much.
4. Emotionally challenged
Apparently being heartless is the new black. Instead of expressing emotions, people opt to hide their feelings in attempts to come off as “cool.” Breaking news, having feelings is normal. Acting on these feelings is normal. If you don’t feel anything at all in terms of love, you’re either a serial killer or dead. I recommend seeing a doctor for both.
5. Texting > Real Life
Did you know that 89 percent of a relationship lives through your smartphone? That’s actually a fictional statistic, but I wouldn’t doubt if the real percentage was around there. Couples would rather text, Snapchat, or direct-message one another than actually hang out to have a conversation. The problem with this is you set yourself up for failure when you let a relationship revolve around the phone. You’re way funnier texting because emojis really set the vibe and you have about three hours to think of a witty comment. In real life you have about 0.73 seconds to throw down a clever reply. After texting for a week or so, when you finally meet in person, it can get real awkward real fast. Main point, the odds are not in your favor.
6. Ghosting
Last but not least, the ghosting effect. Ghosting is fairly new, and it is when someone you’re dating ceases all conversation and contact entirely. This is a not-so-subtle way to break up with people, and only the lowest of the low partake in it. Unfortunately, the simplicity of ghosting is catching on and it’s really creating some major trust issues. All I can say is, if anyone ever ghosts you, just know that they’re the troll, not you.
Dating should be fun, and the less complicated the better. Whether or not you can relate to any of the reasons, just remember your own worth. Never settle for less than you believe you deserve, and never bestow anyone the power to make you feel less than that. As long as you're comfortable with your situation, that's all that matters. Now, go out and do yo' thang!
