From elementary school to college, students have been unfairly enduring group projects while somehow maintaining their sanity. All of us seasoned veterans know the types of people that you find around the circle of awkward small talk and everyone fits into one (or more) of these categories. They’re ranked from Common (least rare) to Mythic (rarest) based on how many you’ll come across in your long group project career.
1. The boss
Rarity: Uncommon
She's trying to get a 4.0 this semester and nothing is going to get in her way. She loves outlines and enjoys efficiently scheduled stationery shopping. She's going to spend the next two weeks chilling in the group chat like it's a Disney World resort. Failing this assignment isn't just failing her, it's failing life. The boss will accept nothing less than perfection, and isn't afraid to tell you so.
2. The cute and confused
Rarity: Common
This person has a soft voice and there’s a high chance of them looking at the ground after making eye contact with you. They have no clue what's going on, but they’re the plug if you didn’t do any of the readings. They come to class everyday and they're always taking notes but they have no idea what anyone is talking about. This might as well be Greek 101. But they're trying really hard and they're really sweet so you try to carry them as they try to figure out what's going on.
3. The Overachiever
Rarity: Rare
He's always asking serious questions with a serious expression on his face. The overachiever always seems to be doing too much. He texts in MLA format and doesn't seem to have a sense of humor, but he gets his work done. He vibes well with the boss and together they make everyone else feel like they don't have their lives in order. He low-key suffers from anxiety and doesn’t understand why he's the only one that's filled out all of their slides a week ahead.
4. The disinterested ditz
Rarity: Common
The disinterested ditz has only come to class twice this semester and lucky you, your group was just one person short. Unlike the cute and confused, the ditz isn't trying at all. He just realized that he's failing and decided that he should probably put in some effort. Although his half-assed attempt is, well, half-assed, any contributions from him are just specific enough to seem relevant yet so vague that it's obvious he doesn't know what's going on. He’s 100% likely to be confused when the boss goes off on him. This individual is the master of diversion and can come up with excuses in a heartbeat.
5. The ghost
Rarity: Legendary
She's only in the group chat as a formality. She's here for one reason only, to get this done. She rarely talks, in the chat or in real life. Instead, the ghost floats around the Google docs, writing out her sections in silence before disappearing into the night. On the presentation day you hear her speak for the first time and then you never hear or see her again.
6. The functioning member of society
Rarity: Mythic
This person washes their face every day and comes to the presentation in a button-down shirt.They smoothly go through their slides in a timely fashion and turn in all of their work on time. They’re always available to meet up. They make good and workable suggestions and manage to talk without interrupting anyone else. They end all of their texts with “:)”, and they didn’t pull an all-nighter the day before your presentation was due. They somehow work perfectly with everyone in the group, and they don’t exist.
