Oh the holidays. That wonderful time of year when we get to sit around with our families and enjoy each others' company whether we like it or not. Any family gathering isn't complete without the entire rag tag group of people coming together to celebrate whatever the calendar has told us to at that point in time. Here are a few guests who have attended the family feast, maybe more than once, and really have just added to the family fun.
1. The annoying young kids.
"Do you have any games on your phone?" They look so cute and adorable in theory, but when applied to real life, they make you wanna pull your hair out. Someone is always screaming, another one is always running, the other is screaming and running, and the parents yell over their screams to try and talk with them while not having to leave their chair. Good disciplinary actions? I don't know. All I know is that once Mom and Dad leave the room, these mice will scramble all over everything in front of them, and you're the cheese.
2. The drunk uncle.
It's not a holiday party without a drunk uncle there to ruin it for everyone. Side-eye glances are exchanged between all the guests as he cracks open his first beer of the night before dinner is even served. When you were young he was the fun uncle who was always down to run around the backyard. Now he's still fun, but that feeling slowly fades as he's six or seven drinks in and passes out on the desserts when no one is looking. He also refuses to admit he has a drinking problem. It's his time to "relax," he says.
3. The weird cousin.
You can just picture them in your mind can't you? Whether it's cousin Kevin from Michigan or Joanna from Akron, they breathe heavy, they give off weird vibes, and you super hope you never have to be alone with them. Their presence alone makes you uncomfortable, and their parents are completely oblivious to the fact that everyone groans whenever they walk in.
4. That one lady you're not sure how you're related to her...or if you even are.
They show up to every party, they know everything about your life, but who the heck are they?! You recognize them from their constant presence in your life, but how the heck are you related? What side of the family are they from? Is she actually your aunt? It's kinda like everyone else is in on some joke that you haven't heard the punch line to. Their pot roast is bomb though.
5. The racists elders.
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but man do you want to. Nothing is more cringeworthy than enjoying a nice meal, when suddenly someone says something horribly wrong that no one else agrees with. You don't want to make the dinner worse by drawing too much attention to it, so you leave it alone, but its also killing you that they said that, so you wanna scream in their face. It's even more awful when it's done by old people. We have been told to leave Gramma Barkley alone because she is old and thinks a certain way, but her racist views and skewed train of thought really gets on your nerves, and the fact that you can't say anything about it to her because "it only makes her upset" pisses you off even more.
6. The Nosy Nelly.
"What college are you going to?" "What's the plan for after college?" "How's school going?" "Tell me everything." Every family has this relative that you absolutely hate talking to them. No, you don't wanna address where your life is going, no you don't wanna talk about school, and no you don't wanna tell them everything. Why? Because you have absolutely no idea what the answers are. The slight panic you feel when you hear these questions being asked just ruins the holiday spirit for everyone involved.
And after all that, these are the people who make the holidays worth going home for. Sure, they piss you off, make you uncomfortable and annoy the crap out of you, but they're your family, and they're not gonna change. It's good to have some consistency in our lives anyway, right? Happy Holidays!
