There are those people we met very young that we know we’ll love forever. We saw each other through awkward phases, pimples, braces, parents and all. They’ve seen the pretty, the ugly and the downright unappetizing, and they still stuck around to pick up the pieces whenever we drove myself ourselves into a catastrophe.
I met my people back in middle school in Jakarta and, for some reason, all three of them ended up in California for college. Thus began the struggle of the long-distance best-friendship.
So, without further ado, to my three best friends that are 2,600 miles away:
I sometimes forget how to miss you.
After we went our separate ways, I subconsciously adjusted to life without you. I hung out with new people, picked up new hobbies and made it so that I wouldn’t notice your absence. I guess you can say it’s a good thing that I don’t miss you as much, but then I subconsciously look for you less and less.
I sometimes forget how much I enjoy having you in my life.
Different time zones, different schedules, different lives and thousands of miles make it seem like I can’t feel you in my world. But whenever we finally get on that phone call or Skype call, we just pick up where we left off, and each time I am surprised at how comfortable and familiar your voice is to me. It’s slightly bittersweet because I’m reminded of how much I love having you around and then reminded that I can’t.
You remind me of my past.
When I talk to you, I’m reminded of who I used to be and how I used to be. I’m reminded of both my past mistakes and my past achievements. I don’t spend much time thinking about my past, and it’s always a jolt when I’m talking to you and I suddenly recall memories I didn’t know I had.
I always hate myself whenever I let you down.
I’m not a very reliable communicator. I take forever to reply text messages, I cancel Skype dates and I’m always busy with something. It’s never you, it’s just some inherent flaw in my character (that I will fix!). But each time I feel like I’ve let you down, I immediately wish there was something I could do to fix it. I know you sometimes feel like I take you for granted, and to be honest I think sometimes I do. I fail to realize that our relationship these days consists of those Skype dates that I miss and texts that I take forever to reply, and that therefore I should prioritize them. Thank you for not giving up on me when it seems like I’d given up on you.
Sometimes I’m scared that we will drift apart.
We have such different lives now, with different people and doing different things. We’ve changed, and the dynamic between us isn’t the same as when we could see each other every day and went to the same school. Sometimes I can’t keep up with the names of all the different people you talk about, and I don’t know how to give you advice because I don’t know your life very well anymore. Sometimes I wonder how far we can push this relationship; will we one day run out of things to talk about?
You are family.
Despite all of the above, I know you’ll never really be able to get rid of me, and I you. It’s been eight years, and I only get more and more grateful that you are in my life. If you ever needed me to hop on a plane at a moment’s notice, I would do it. I don’t have to know every detail of your life, and you don’t need to know mine. We don’t have to go through life hand in hand, we just need to walk within arm’s reach of each other.
