I went to a party the last night and realized a few things about being an outgoing introvert. I want to talk to everyone, but I’m also observing everything going on while trying super hard to focus on the person immediately in front of me, and, oh my God what is happening there are so many people—help.
Naturally, after my hidden breakdown, I went ahead and stepped outside. Some fresh air with a couple visitors and talks about deep and dynamic things that I actually cared about helped tremendously. After awhile, I went back inside, sat on a couch, and hung out the rest of the night. I then fell asleep during an opera performance and snored. Strange times indeed. All that to say, here’s a quick guide on how your outgoing introverted buddy is feeling during a party. Yes, they still love you.
- If we don’t know anybody, we’re going to sit quietly and just listen to conversations.
(source: www.uloop.com)
It’s not that we don’t want to talk, it’s just a matter of not really having anything to contribute to the conversation. Small talk just isn’t our thing, and honestly, we’d rather hear what you have to say if you’re passionate about something. That being said, we like being active listeners and not walls, so don’t talk as if nobody is there.
- It’s not that we dislike anyone in the crowd, it’s just that we feel like we’re trapped in a vacuum of stimulation.
(source: m.rookiestew.com)
We don’t stand in the corner of the room so that we can avoid people; it’s so that we can hear you. In a house sort of setting, it sounds like a million voices bouncing off the walls, so we pick up a bit of every single conversation around us. We retreat to the corner, place a person in front us, and hope that their voice drowns out all the other conversations around us. If this can’t happen, it’s nice for us to step outside and get some fresh air. We may talk in a place where we can hear you clearly and it doesn’t sound like a remake of 300.
- We will come back inside—promise.
(source: www.braininjuryhub.co.uk)
We just need open space—something a bit quieter—and maybe a stimulating conversation before we can come back in. Truth be told, most of the time we just have zero interest in anything we consider irrelevant or vain. It might come off or even be a little pretentious on our part, but when it comes down to it, pop culture just doesn’t hold our attention.
- That being said, we like stories about you. So tell them.
(Source: www.paulchitwood.com)
We like getting to know a person, not just random facts about other people. Tell us your story, make it somewhat interactive, and you can probably hold our attention as long as you want to talk for. In my experience, we love the intricate stories that come with people’s lives. This is the difference between seeing some tweet that Taylor Swift posted and hearing about your different life experiences: Swift isn’t here, but you are; you’re the one who has our attention.
- However, if we fall asleep or start dozing off, it’s not because you’re boring but it’s because we’re exhausted.
(Source: www.totalprosports.com)
We’ve enjoyed getting to know the one or two people at the party that we’ve interacted with, but in all honesty, it was a pretty draining experience. Filtering out all the surrounding noise while taking in all the visual stimuli of an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, our brains are at a point where sleep and processing the night sounds absolutely delightful. Send us home and call it a day; we’ve had a pretty good time.
- We might call you in order to hang out again.
(Source: communitytable.parade.com)
This is kind of a rarity, but if we really enjoyed your company, we might break out of our non-initiating shell and reach out to hang out with you again. How that happens depends more on the person rather than whether they’re an introvert or not; it might be in a smaller group or it might be one-on-one. But congratulations, you’ve charmed someone who is more than likely a good listener and will give you their undivided attention—as well as the possibility of being quite the loyal friend.
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