I cannot imagine the bomb I drop on people every day. Whether they enter a friendship aware or not, learning the extent of my illness cannot be easy. I am not yet confined to a wheelchair, but my activities are limited, and I will never fully comprehend what that does to a person. Some people run, and some people stay strong, but I realized recently that there are some things that everyone should know about those of us with illnesses. Whether you are new or old to being friends with someone with a chronic illness, here are six important points you should know should understand:

1. We are understanding and supportive.

We will always understand or try to relate to what you are going through. We know what it feels like for no one to believe you, or to be sick, or anything in between. Sometimes we will be going through our own things between doctors, ER visits, and other commitments, but we understand just how important support is. When someone becomes chronically ill they begin to depend on the people they love, but we are always ready for someone to ask us for support as well.

2. We will not downplay your illness.

Whether you are sick with the flu or a sprained ankle, we are genuinely concerned for you. Your ailment may not compare to what we go through every day, in your head, but in our heads, you are our equal. We will be there for every broken bone, bump, or bruise along the way, so please don't ever compare your illness to ours; we understand it may not be as life threatening as our own.

3. We are almost always on our phones.

There are always things on your phone to check when you become sick. There are online support groups, fellow spoonies, doctor results, and a million other things. This is advantageous to you, though, because we will almost always respond immediately. Unless we are sleeping or really not feeling well, we are always there for you, so please feel free to reach out no matter what the hour (painsomnia keeps us up at all hours).

4. We do not want you to feel bad for us.

What we want from you is someone who believes our condition is real and will support us. We do not want you to say "you poor thing" or some other phrase implying pity because we want to be treated as equals. Rather than being "that sick friend" we want to be "that friend who also happens to be sick". So, please do not define us by our illnesses, and treat us like you would anyone else.

5. We value friendship more than most people.

We have seen friendships dissolve time and time again over our illnesses, so we have learned to value your friendship more than you will ever know. Spoonies know how easy it is for healthy people to leave us in the dust and find someone better, someone healthier, so we never take you for granted. Those of you who support us are guaranteed a seat on our entire roller coaster of life.

6. We will want to do crazy things.

More than likely we have seen life flash before our eyes more than once. We have worried about test results, surgeries, and a billion other things, so we will want to live the best life we can. Typically, we have also seen our life fall to pieces. We have been through surprising onsets, diagnostics, and had our life changed forever, so we will say what we want to because we understand how quickly life changes.