Recently, I've found myself in the car a lot. Whether it's for a short 30-minute drive outside of Charlotte (my hometown), a few hours to the beach, or nine hours driving back from visiting friends in Washington D.C. Currently, I'm mentally preparing myself for a 120hour ride to Memphis next week (ew). If you're anything like me, you talk to yourself constantly while you're on the road. I love road trips because they're where I get my best thinking done…but by the end, I never want to set foot in a car again. So, maybe some of these will ring a bell to you, too.
1. OMIGOSH I'M SO EXCITED!
2. I can't wait to see (insert name/place here)
3. I think I forgot all my underwear…
4. How much data do I have left?
5. Surely it's enough to play Spotify?
6. Screw it, I'm doing it anyway. I need it to stay awake. (Sorry, Dad.)
7. Oh, wait, was that my exit?
8. Sh**, how do I get back?
9. Okay, okay, problem solved. Alright now, focus.
10. OMIGOD I LOVE THIS SONG!
11. *cue the Backstreet Boys*
12. I hope the man beside me didn't just see me dancing.
13. I should've brought snacks with me.
14. Of course I already drank my Diet Coke before I even got on the road.
15. Wait, that was so dumb. Now I'm probably gonna have to pee soon.
16. Ugh, how much longer do I have?
17. I wonder what (insert name) is up to? Let's call them.
18. D*mn it, why won't they answer me.
19. (Probably because they have lives)...
20. THIS IS MY JAMMMM!
21. I cannot believed I just rapped every lyric to that song (or almost).
22. This is why I'm single.
23. Hope my friends are enjoying my Snapchats of me singing in the car by myself.
24. I'm so funny.
25. I'M SO BORED. (moans)
26. Ugh I miss my friends.
27. *cue the emotional country music and pretends like you're in a music video with shades on and windows rolled down*
28. And I have to pee.
29. Dang it. Ruined my music video.
30. Ew I refuse to stop there. That looks disgustingly sketchy.
31. That was the worst experience of my life. Why did I stop there?
32. Where is the hand sanitizer?
33. Sh** my phone is dying.
34. And my charger is the back seat…out of reach…
35. How am I suppose to get directions?
36. And now I'm lost in the middle of no where.
37. Is that van following me?
38. I'm being stalked.
39. I'm being stalked. And I have no phone to call for help.
40. This is the end.
41. Oh he turned, I'm good.
42. What's the speed limit here?
43. COP!
44. Thank god he's going after that other guy. Sucks.
45. Ugh my butt hurts.
46. I'm so tired.
47. I need to get out of this car.
48. *drifts into treads, panics because of the loud noise, and swerves back into the lane*
49. Omigod I still have 45 minutes left.
50. PRAISE THE LORD, IM HERE!
51. *vows to never get back in the car again but breaks it 2 days later to return home*
Happy Road-tripping Everyone!
