For those of us who had a sweet tooth when we were little, going to the dentist was as dreaded a moment as the end of summer. Doctors visits or orthodontist appointments were a moderate inconvenience, but the dentist was the apocalypse. The only way I ever went entailed my panic stricken body being dragged by my mother. Silent prayers went through my head that I would magically have perfect teeth, which never seemed to be the case. Now somehow I’ve hit the age where I have to make my own dentist appointments and willingly drive myself there. And there’s no time better than Christmas break to squeeze in an appointment. So here’s my freaking out for all to see.
- How is it that every dentist office has the exact same smell.
- Do they all buy “slightly nauseating sterilizing chemical” scented candles?
- Would an island breeze air freshener really be that much of an investment?
- OK got here 10 minutes early, go me, way to be responsible.
- Just gotta check in.
- Please don’t ask to see an insurance card.
- I’m only in college, my mom still handles all that stuff.
- Phew, she just asked my name.
- OK now to just sit and wait.
- Wait no cell phones allowed?
- Oh god, this is going to be a long wait.
- Time to start staring at the clock.
- Oh no someone’s using a drill back there.
- Don’t think about that drill going into teeth, ah the pain.
- So many bad childhood memories.
- OK, it's been 20 minutes why haven’t they called me yet.
- I bet this guy before me showed up late.
- Gah again with the drill.
- Oh, the door's opening!
- Nope, just somebody leaving.
- OK, the smells already starting to get to me.
- Yes, they finally called my name.
- Oh no, that means that they’re gonna poke around my mouth.
- Is it too late to cancel?
- I could make a run for it, Mom’s not here to stop me.
- Nope, I guess I have to follow her in.
- And the small talk begins…
- Oh yay, x-rays, the perfect combination of radiation and getting my tiny mouth sliced to pieces.
- How often to I floss? Do I lie? Will she be able to tell I’m lying?
- I’ll give a very vague answer, I mean I do most of the time after all.
- And here comes the probe.
- Flashback to every horrible dentist experience of my childhood.
- Does she know that I can feel it when she stabs my gums with those things?
- Please don’t find any cavities please please please.
- If she does that means I’d have to come back (internally crying).
- How is scraping a tooth this hard possible good for it?
- Oh yep, that’s my gum not my tooth again.
- There is definitely blood on her gloves right now.
- What have I gotten myself into?
- Oh, what am I studying in school? Maybe I could answer if you didn’t have three sharp objects in my mouth at the moment.
- Uh oh, she went to get the dentist…
- Moment of truth.
- Yes, no cavities! My teeth look good, wooo!
- He just looked at my mouth for all of a minute.
- I see why you get paid the big bucks.
- Yeah, I’ll definitely schedule an appointment for just six months from now.
- Oh a free toothbrush, what a great gift...
- I think I’ve done my own responsible deed for the week.
- Time to go home and eat a bunch of overly sugary food.
- Shoot, I forgot to ask how long until I can eat.
- Eh, I guess we’ll just have to risk it.























