As I sit in my dorm room, reflecting on life, I can't help but to realize just how much my life has changed in the few short months that I've been in college. I look back to who I was the first time I stepped into this same room in September, and it's crazy how much being away at school has changed me. I'd like to think that most of the changes are positive, but not every change is perfect.
When I first stepped onto campus in September, I had no idea what this semester was going to look like. I knew almost no one on campus. I didn't know my professors. I had no clue of what classes were going to be like. I was overcome with all sorts of emotions. To be completely honest, I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave the nest and start my life.
The first semester definitely had a learning curve. I remember coming back from one of my very first classes and crying because I thought that there was no way I would be able to pass that class. There was so much that I just stressed over. Yeah, I know, I was being ridiculous, but I was scared. I didn't trust or believe in myself at all. I would just constantly prepare myself to not do well. It wasn't a good time.
As things started going along, I started to find my stride. Not every day was perfect, but I kept going. I figured out what my professors liked or disliked. I found a group of people that I could laugh off my stress with, and things started to look up. I was getting involved. It was like the part of the movie where they play the music and it's like a montage of things going well.
It's finals time now, and I look at the pictures of me from that first day and I wish I could go back and tell myself that things will work out. Yes, there are still days when I just sit in my room and cry, but those days are overshadowed by the days that I laugh so hard that my sides hurt. I forget about the hard times when I sit with a group of some of the amazing people I've met here and talk about anything and everything. I wish my past self could see the amazing opportunities that were coming up so quickly. Everything that I was so worried about just melted away.
Looking back at who I was then and who I am now, I've gone through this strange and beautiful transformation. I am so much more confident and I have learned so much about life and myself. The old cliche is true: I have really found myself in college. Being in college is quite the roller coaster, but I am so excited for where the twists and turns are going to lead me in the future.
