Life is full of surprises. I know this — we all know this. We all know that we cannot foresee every single thing coming our way. Even considering the fact I cannot predict the future, I still wonder about it and, sadly, this is not a normal amount of wondering. This is full-blown worrying about every single thing that happens or might happen to me. I want to know if someone will stay in my life or why they’re not in my life anymore. I wonder if I'll end up in a relationship with this person or if I'm wasting my time. Why is it that I always need to know the answers? Am I just not a fan of the unknown or am I scared of being alone?
For one, I actually love the excitement and anticipation of the unknown when it comes to surprises on my birthday and Christmas. Two, I’m working on being alone sometimes and being okay with it. I grew up with three siblings, so my house was always full and in college I've hardly been alone. There are almost 500 people living in my dorm complex, so there’s always someone to grab coffee or lunch with. My suite is always buzzing during the day. I do need my hour or two of "me time" every day, but, other than that, I’m happy when I'm completely surrounded by others, talking to people or doing something fun.
Back to my initial question: Do I really need to know how my future will turn out? I need to chill — I know that. I need to stop worrying about what will happen and just be. I’ve been saying “I’m living!” a lot lately and I really am. All the changes in my life over the past few months have brought me to this moment and I’m happy — I’m living! I feel like 2016 came along with so many happy memories. I grew very close to so many of my high school friends. I got my first job at a restaurant and figured out how to balance my life. I visited colleges and got accepted to my top pick. I graduated high school and had one of the best summers of my life. Then, my favorite part of 2016: I completed my first semester of college!
I have met so many great people, passed all of my classes and made it through my first semester. I am truly happy in Charleston. When my family left me after move-in day I was very uncertain about being (sort of) on my own and not knowing many people. A week later, I had fallen in love with everything about The College. I became fast friends with one of my roommates, found a group of gals that like going out as much as I do and I made friends with people who look out for me and have my back no matter what. So when I look at the big picture, I’m thankful for all the surprises because I would’ve never expected my first semester to be as great as it has been. Many people couldn’t wait for 2016 to be over, but I think I’m happy with everything that 2016 brought — the ups and the downs.