My life, until this point, existed in an almost consistent stasis. I would wake up in the same house, which my family had occupied for almost two decades, and go through the ritual motions of the day; school, after-school activities, homework, sleep, and repeat. Wholly unfulfilling, but inherently safe. I developed a deep fear of experiencing a glitch in my systematic existence, which had gone on unperturbed for as long as I could remember. In reality, I didn’t realize how much I needed a fresh start until I got one.
College turned my world upside down, but in the best kind of way. When I left home, I also left all of the expectations other people had for me and even the expectations I had for myself. In high school, there were people that I had history with, for better or for worse, which led to a tendency to stick to a group of friends and hold on for dear life. There were also socially constructed barriers that made it seem strange for people to venture outside of their circle. But when I was thrown into a 104-acre space with thousands of other people, there was a level playing ground that made me discover my love for connecting with new people. Without any surface evidence of my awkward stage or embarrassing adolescent moments, I was as much of a clean slate to them as they were to me.
On a personal level, I proved myself wrong about my own assumptions. Although I’ve always considered myself to be shy, I have been pushing myself to speak up and thrust myself into new situations, only to discover that I might not be so shy after all. In fact, I’m convinced I might have just been waiting to find the right stage to shine on.
As most first-year college students were, I was terrified about living with someone else, but I’m finding that I’m not only tolerating living in a tiny room on a tiny bed (that I’ve already fallen out of), but I'm actually happy to not be sharing the tiny space when I could otherwise be alone. It is amazing how quickly a floor of strangers can begin to feel like an entirely new, entirely different family. Of course I miss my “real” family, my amazing friends from home, and home-cooked food that isn’t from Leo’s, but, as the idiom goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I now have an invigorated appreciation for the things I’ve left miles north.
There will be more changes to come; of that, I am completely sure. College years are some of the most formative in a person’s life. Perhaps some of the aforementioned discoveries I’ve made will be proven false, but I will keep rolling with the punches. I used to cower at the thought of change, but now, I challenge it. Change is inevitable, but how I react to it is purely in my control.
