"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." —Winston Churchill
In high school, I would've considered myself an extrovert because I just assumed like most people do that it meant enjoying socialization. I was never alone because really who was? We spent so much time relying on other people none of us really knew how to be alone. In college, the majority of the time I am and I've learned to be comfortable with it. That combined with reading up on what it really means to be an extrovert helped me discover that I'm actually an introvert. Not that I don't like hanging out with my friends or that I'm uncomfortable in social situations, but being introverted actually means that too much "friend time" drains me.
Extroverts feed off of social situations. It's energizing to them. I now have realized being alone, either binge watching Netflix or something as simple as walking to class, recharges me which is a characteristic of an introvert. I crave the me time that I wasn't comfortable with in high school. I think part of the reason was that as adolescents, we were all trying to find our place in the world and as adults we still are but the newfound independence of not living at home and having every whim catered to gives room for personal growth and self-love. When you live with a roommate all the time, that socialization that used to be craved becomes old and alone time is appreciated.
But after spending nine months milking every ounce that the freedom of not living under a microscope offers, going back under it can be a tough transition. Going home sounds absolutely amazing towards the end of the year. There was nothing more I wanted during finals than for my mommy to stay up with me, quizzing me and telling me everything will be OK. I wanted my dad's homemade food and my sister to tell me to suck it up and grab my GPA by the balls. But once I stepped into my house, it felt like a gilded cage. Having to let someone know your every movement and life decision felt like releasing all the independence you had while away. But at the same time, life moved on without you and you feel like the people you've known your whole life are strangers. It's an unnerving feeling.
For me though, the weirdest part was seeing my friends again. Finding your place among yourselves again is hard. Especially when you all took such different paths. And all my friends and I have changed in different ways. We were not the same people we said goodbye to in August. These changes can either make you closer or make you drift away. If the latter happens, then it's important to remember that some people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. Trying to be someone you used to be will only make you feel worse.
What is the point of college? Obviously getting a solid education in order to prepare you for your future endeavors is one. But college is more than just that. It is where you go to break the mold that you've been put into by your family, friends and surroundings. You can completely reinvent yourself. The point of college is to change whether intentionally or not. Either way it's going to happen. Living on your own with a roommate is very different let alone having to do your own laundry or use a communal bathroom. These things may not be so strange to some people, but to me, it was completely alien. Even waking up for class and completing your assignments change you. Professors don't care if you show up or not. You are, for the first time in your life, completely responsible for yourself. This is what brings out your true character.
Change shouldn't be feared. It should be accepted. And though sometimes it's a tough pill to swallow, it is an inevitable part of life. To all those college students counting down the days until they go back, embrace the present. Spend time getting to know your family again. And for all you future freshmen spending hours online, Facebook-stalking your future roommate and religiously scouring the Internet for the perfect bedding, slow down and spend this last month with your loved ones doing all the crazy things you love.
Freedom is coming, but savor the last bits of truly being a kid. I promise you, when you come back, everything will be different and even though it will be good, it still leaves a bittersweet taste in your heart.
