We’ve all been there. It’s a trying time when all we want to do is surf the web and the Wi-Fi connection lets us down like rain on our wedding day. I don’t know about you, but my mind certainly starts to wander as I wait for the return of that necessary full bar signal. And here’s where it goes:

1. This is it. The end of the world as I know it.
   
   
2. I was going to get so much work done!
   
   
3. Just kidding, I was going to watch the next episode of "Fuller House" on Netflix.
   
   
4. Now I’ll never know how the fam is doing.
   
   
5. What if I turn the Wi-Fi on and off?
   
   
6. I think that’s what they say to do in those parody things of tech guys.
   
   
7. What if tech guys are just doing their job?
   
   
8. What if they are right?
   
   
9. I’m going to do it.
   
   
10. Nope. Nothing.
    
    
11. I really want that chocolate.
    
    
12. But it’s all the way across the room.
    
    
13. Why can’t dogs have chocolate?
    
    
14. Those poor things don’t even know what they are missing.
    
    
15. I miss my dog.
    
    
16. What if I was a dog?
    
    
17. I think I read a book about that once.
    
    
18. Ah, I remember books.
    
    
19. Did I ever finish "The Time Traveler’s Wife?"
    
    
20. I think I saw the movie.
    
    
21. Wow, Rachel McAdams is so pretty.
    
    
22. Isn’t there a new Nicholas Sparks movie coming out? Again?
    
    
23. Where does that man get all of that good material from?
    
    
24. I want to have tea with Nicholas Sparks.
    
    
25. Tea. Tea would be great right now.
    
    
26. Wait, I don’t even like tea.
    
    
27. I guess that’s why we threw it in the harbor. No one actually likes tea.
    
    
28. British people do.
    
    
29. Wow, is that no Internet pinwheel really still spinning?
    
    
30. IS IT MOCKING ME?
    
    
31. Okay, self, calm down. You can just do your readings.
    
    
32. But my syllabus with the assignment is online.
    
    
33. Why do we rely so much on the Internet?
    
    
34. We didn’t always have the Internet.
    
    
35. I bet those people were brilliant, figuring things out for themselves and whatnot.
    
    
36. My parents must actually be smarter than me.
    
    
37. Oh man. I’m sorry, guys.
    
    
38. I should send them a Facebook message to say I love them.
    
    
39. CAN’T. No Internet.
    
    
40. Is it because other people are also on the internet?
    
    
41. I will collect up all the technology in a fifty-mile radius. Then it will be my time.
    
    
42. Seems like a lot of work.
    
    
43. Maybe I could take a nap instead.
    
    
44. Or I could shower.
    
    
45. When was the last time I showered?
    
    
46. I will perform the greatest shower concert this world has ever not heard.
    
    
47. But I feel like the Internet could come back at any minute though.
    
    
48. If I just stare long enough, it could happen.
    
    
49. I wonder if I make it uncomfortable.
    
    
50. Does my laptop have feelings?

*Internet returns*

*I immediately start singing "Hallelujah" Chorus*

51. Wait. What did I want this for?