Dear First Heartbreak, I'm sure you knew much sooner than I did that I was in love with you. You were much more than my first love. You were numerous accounts of "my first..." little things. You were the first person I associated multiple songs with. You were the first person I ran to when my life wasn’t going the way I wanted. You were the first person I looked for in a crowd. You were the first person I laid eyes on knowing you'd be one to remember. You were the first person I looked at and thought "he could be the one".

You were meant to be my first love, my first feeling of a fairytale; and unfortunately, my first heartbreak. I quickly learned that not every first love in your life is your last love. Not every love story ends with the person rushing to your door in the pouring rain pulling you into their arms claiming you're the one. Sometimes it ends with you running out of their dorm room and telling yourself that you're never looking back.

I looked back though. At least for a little while.

It took months to admit to myself that my first love didn’t have to be my last. Months to remember that just because I felt so much for you that it did not mean I couldn't feel it for someone else. Months to try anything else with anyone new. From you, I learned.The most important thing you gave me was knowledge.

1. You taught me to open up.
2. You taught me to not be afraid to let people see the parts of me I wasn't finished creating.
3. You taught me how to laugh at myself.
4. You taught me that I was worthy.
5. You taught me when to be childish and when to grow up.
6. You taught me to be honest.
7. You taught me to be selfless.
8. You taught me to not act on temptation.
9. You taught me to always tell someone how you feel, even if you fear rejection.
10. You taught me that I'm not the opinion of someone who doesn't know me.
11. You taught me to search for someone who has goals and aspirations.
12. You taught me to appreciate everyone because you don't know when you'll lose them.
13. You taught me to be okay on my own.
14. You taught me to see the good in everyone.
15. You taught me if someone doesn't appreciate you to drop them.
16. You taught me to take other people’s feelings into account when I expressed my opinions.
17. You taught me to look for someone who shows you off.
18. You taught me how to accept my mistakes and grow from them.
19. You taught me how to care for someone who doesn’t want to be cared for.
20. You taught me to appreciate people who value their family.
21. You taught me if you can’t find trust in one another, then you have nothing.
22. You taught me how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on.
23. You taught me that just because you love someone does not mean you have to accept their hostility.
24. You taught me not to count on someone who cancels on you.
25. You taught me to not forget about your friends just because you're dating someone.
26. You taught me to not let jealousy get the best of you.
27. You taught me to not expect a perfect relationship to just happen. It’s something you work toward.
28. You taught me to not compare myself to the other girls at the parties.
29. You taught me that actions speak louder than words.
30. You taught me to never let anyone go to bed angry.
31. You taught me to love fiercely.
32. You taught me to not try and change anyone, but to accept them for who they are.
33. You taught me that it’s okay to put yourself first.
34. You taught me to appreciate the little moments, not always the huge gestures.
35. You taught me that holding hands is good for the soul.
36. You taught me that there’s a difference between possessive and protective.
37. You taught me to never lose respect for myself.
38. You taught me the ache you feel when someone is missing from your life that once consumed it.
39. You taught me how to hide my tears behind a smile.
40. You taught me to never settle for anything that’s boring.
41. You taught me to live with no regrets.
42. You taught me to do things without hesitation.
43. You taught me to trust my instincts.
44. You taught me to value my friend’s and family's opinions.
45. You taught me that good times are great and bad times are terrible.
46. You taught me to be strong.
47. You taught me to love myself.
48. You taught me to look past a pretty smile and perfect hair.
49. You taught me to welcome the flashbacks of the past when they come (and trust me, they come).
50. You taught me that just because you thought something was forever, that it’s okay to figure out that it’s not.

My second love was me. I fell in love with my quirks that you made fun of. I fell in love with my smile that you never took the time to enjoy. I fell in love with my laugh that you so rarely tried to conjure. I fell in love with my eyes that you avoided looking into. I fell in love with my strength that your harsh words created. I fell in love with the vacant passages you left in my soul and filled them with aspirations and dreams. I fell in love with the disaster you left behind.

My first love was my first heartbreak; however, my first love was not a mistake. My first love was not a waste of time. My first love was just a cigarette break, a slow dance at prom, a chapter in a book; you were not the whole novel, you were not the whole album, you were not the whole pack.