It's almost 2016!!! I'm not sure when that happened considering I blinked in February and now it's December…but anyway, a new year means a new you, right? We all make our list of resolutions that we are 100 percent going to stick to this year (no, really…like we are actually going to do them this time I mean it) even though everyone knows that the motivation will probably last two weeks (one if you're ambitious). So, I've compiled a list of 5 New Year's resolutions that you are going to make but won't actually follow beyond a 14-day span:
1. Get healthy
Whether it's eating green juice for the next 365 days or choosing fruit over sweets, you want to nourish your body. But don't kid yourself, you know that by the end of the month you'll be scarfing down donuts like it's nobody's business.
2. Go to the gym
I think this is the #1 goal of probably 90 percent of the population. How many of us actually stick to this routine? Probably like 1 percent. There's always the, "If worked out everyday and had J-Lo's body, do you know how hot I would be?" Newsflash: If everyone worked out everyday and had J-Lo's body, then everyone would be hot. But they don't, so they're not. You are actually doing humanity a favor by skipping the gym because then you're allowing others to look better in comparison. So, think of it as your civil duty.
3. Be nicer to people
You're a b*tch, and you know it, so it's okay. After all, they say the first step in solving your problem is to recognize that you have one. So, the new year rolls around and you're smiley and love-dovey to everyone you encounter, but that gets exhausting after approximately 48 hours. You quickly revert back to your judgmental ways because you are quickly reminded how stupid some people are and you hate everyone.
4. Save money
Do you know what the #1 regret is that people have at the end of the year? How much money that could've saved if they didn't eat those 100 meals at Chipotle. Okay, so I made that up. But actually, people do tend to reminisce on the amount of money that they spent on food during the year. It accumulates to hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars. All of this extra cash sounds good in theory, but food it just too good to resist.
*Fun fact: if you actually did eat 100 meals at Chipotle during the year, then you spent in the ballpark of $700-$800. That's a lot of guac.
5. Find love
LOL. Yeah…that about sums it up.
Have a healthy, prosperous, and fun new year!
