Last week, I promised to include the movies I think are the worst in cinematic history after I talked about the best. Look no further, because a few of these abominations against film have been on my list for ten years, near the beginning of my love of film.These films made the list because they were big box-office films that should’ve been good (but weren’t), had cast potential that was awful, or had a lackluster at best plot.
Worst –
1. The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ask any of my friends where I go to school and they’ll tell you how much I loathe this film. Ralph Fiennes plays lead Gustave and Tony Revolori plays Zero, his employee who helps him prove his innocence after being framed for murder. I figured that out after re-reading the plot a few times; it was that confusing. My father and I loved seeing movies together, and this was one of a few rare times that we walked out of the theater. It won four Academy Awards, but I can’t figure out why. Fiennes was the only, and I mean only, saving grace for that film, and even he wasn’t that great. Easily the worst film I’ve ever seen.
2. Mission Impossible III
This film was #1 until 2014. It’s easy to see why; unlike most of the people I know, I love Tom Cruise, his acting, and most of the films he’s been in (with the exception of Knight and Day). The first two films were pretty good and the latter ones were great, but this one missed out horribly. Philip Seymour Hoffman (may he rest in peace) was a laughable villain, while Michelle Monaghan just didn’t fit in with the film and with Cruise. I’d have to say this ten-year participant on my list only saving grace was Laurence Fishburne. At least he was cool.
3. Superman Returns
While the new films are good, and many people like the classic films… this wasn’t. Brandon Routh’s Superman, my least-favorite superhero, but that doesn’t mean I won’t watch any of his films (I loved Man of Steel with Henry Cavill and Amy Adams). Conversely, Kate Bosworth doesn’t really have much of a performance. She was sort of wasted. The worst part of this other ten-year participant is Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. My friends and I love Spacey’s acting, especially in House of Cards, but his villain is also laughable (compared with how much he smiles and enjoys beating Superman). I mean, just kill him already!
4. Django Unchained
Here’s another film my friends adore more than anything. Many actors call this film home (and largely succeed). It’s the plot and length that ruin it – does this film need to be 2 hours and 45 minutes long? It’s so unbelievable, even in the Civil War-era. Even though many people knock him, I don’t have a problem with Jamie Foxx, but his performance was wasted with this plot. Samuel L. Jackson was the most awesome part of this film, but that’s not really surprising. The shooting and killing was awful. Think of Old West on steroids. It’s just nasty.
5. Poltergeist (2015)
I’m not saying that horror movies are supposed to be frightening throughout. The backstory has to be established, characters have to be introduced, and the like. This movie never becomes frightening. When you’re sitting there watching the climax and laughing at the “frightening” images, that’s an issue. When you’re rooting for the demons and spirits because the characters are so bad together, that’s also an issue. It’s another reason people hate remakes – it’s bad.
Bonus Film –
6. The Heat
Now, this isn’t you would expect to see Sandra Bullock to do, based on her more career-defining roles, such as Speed or The Blind Side. My friends love to tease me because of my burning hatred for Melissa McCarthy’s outrageously-over-the-top acting style. Overloaded with swearing (which isn’t a deal-breaker if done correctly), killing and shooting on a massive scale, this film’s messy and actually makes you sick, weak stomachs or otherwise. The two are so bad together, it’s embarrassing to watch. It’s lucky it didn’t earn a high place on my list, because it certainly has potential to do so.
