Up to 95 percent of first-year college students report feelings of homesickness when they enter their new school (academia.edu). Although unpleasant, homesickness happens to everyone at some point or another, and although it sometimes seems as though there is no end in sight, the following points are proven (by yours truly!) to be effective in making it through those initial feelings of anxiety, worry, and longing.
1. Acknowledge that you are, in fact, homesick.
Homesickness arises from missing the familiarity afforded by your life back home. You miss the comfort of your house, you miss the easy inside jokes with your friends, you miss going to school or going out in your town and knowing who everyone is and where everything is. During the first few days and even through the first few weeks at college (or in any new place), you can feel like a stranger in a strange land. You don't yet know the campus like the back of your hand, and most social situations involve not knowing the vast majority of the people you're surrounded by. This can be overwhelming and scary, and can cause you to question whether you're really in the right place. Trying to deny that you miss your parents and your home friends and even your hometown that you swore you couldn't wait to leave (guilty as charged!) will only make matters worse. If you deny that you're homesick, you will never be able to get over your homesickness. Homesickness happens to so many new college students, and it is a completely normal and healthy reaction to a completely new environment. Don't be ashamed of it; admit that you are homesick so that you can finally help yourself feel better.
2. It's okay to cry.
My first two days, I cried myself to sleep. Was it the crying in and of itself that made me feel better? No. Rather, it was the cathartic release of what I was truly feeling that made me feel better. My homesickness made me feel sad, but for some people, homesickness can manifest itself in anger, anxiety, or any other feeling. Whatever you're feeling, let yourself feel it. If you're angry, punch a pillow. If you're anxious, pace around your room until your nerves are calmed. If you're sad like I was, have a good cry...or two...or three. Allowing yourself to indulge in your feelings is not only part of the acceptance process, it is also part of the healing process.
3. Schedule a call or a video chat with someone you miss from home once a week.
Whether it's a phone call, Skype, or FaceTime, and whether it's a parent, a sibling, or your best friend from back home, have a good, long talk with them once a week. The funny thing with homesickness is that you're never going to stop missing your family, your friends, or your hometown; rather, those feelings will eventually be outweighed and balanced out by all the fun, wonderful experiences you'll be having with your new friends at your new school. But while you're still adjusting and the scales are being tipped more toward homesickness, talking to someone you miss can be incredibly helpful. My first week, I went on FaceTime with my mom for almost two hours one day, telling her about everything that was going on. Not only was it great to see her and talk to her and just reconnect with someone I was missing from home, talking to her also helped me realize just how much fun I was having. Talking with my mom helped me realize that sometimes, you just need to take a step back from everything that's going on to truly comprehend how much you're enjoying yourself--doing that will help balance out the scales tremendously.
4. Get involved.
Go to your campus activities fair. Join clubs similar to what you enjoyed in high school. Try something completely new that you've always been intrigued by. Not only will getting involved help you meet new people, moreover it will increase your familiarity and sense of belonging on campus. Many people feel like outsiders in new situations and especially when they're new to college, and getting involved will allow you to integrate into the campus culture. By incorporating yourself into campus life, you will eventually stop thinking that home is the only place you feel comfortable; getting involved will eventually make your new school your new home.
5. Know that it will get better.
At first, it's easy to feel like you'll never get through your homesickness. It's easy to feel like you'll never make best friends like you had back home. It's easy to feel like you'll never learn your way around campus. But just know that this is not the case--it does get better! Remember that the overwhelming feelings of unsureness and anxiety will pass, because if you allow yourself the time, you will become just as comfortable in college as you were at home. Know that not everything will happen at the same time, and not everything will happen right away. For example, you may learn your way around campus before you find your new group of best friends, and you might not find that solid group of best friends until your second semester. Furthermore, not everything will fall into place for you within the same timeframe as everyone else. Don't be jealous or worried or discouraged if you see a group of people who seem to be best friends by the first week of school. Things fall into place for different people at different times. In an area where one person might seem to have it all together, you might be struggling, and in an area where you might be thriving, that same person could be wondering if they'll ever get it right. Especially as a freshman, everyone is in the same boat as you, so remember that you are absolutely not alone no matter how lonely you may feel.
Once again, homesickness is a normal part of the college experience. But if you keep your head up and remain positive, you will conquer your homesickness and begin to flourish in your new home!
