I think that sometimes people forget how important stability is in a relationship. It doesn't matter if we are talking romantic or platonic relationships, everyone needs stability. Yes, the wild and crazy passion can be fun for a while, but at the end of the day, you should be able to sit down with your friend or partner and know that they are not going anywhere. As a person in a relationship, having structure really does count for something big. Knowing that you have established something permanent can be more important than the seeming bigger things in a relationship.
People need each other and if the fear of them leaving comes up often, then something is wrong.
Communication comes in next here, you should constantly be talking to your partner or friend about how you're feeling in the relationship, but if they aren't reciprocating these emotions or blowing you off, it may be time to rethink the situation in total. All people need to feel important and loved, but more importantly and the point of this article: they shouldn't have to question themselves in that love. They should come to the relationship knowing where they stand and knowing that they are important. If you are reading this, reevaluating your relationships, then I have good news! All things can be fixed with trial and error. We know that on again off again relationships are toxic, that they don't always warrant the best behavior from both parties, and that they usually end in disaster, but if you really want to work them out then you should work on the stability of your relationship first.
Communication and stability go hand in hand.
Sit down with the other party of your relationship and talk to them about what is going on. Tell them you are worried about how the relationship is making you feel and if they aren't listening, its time to leave. In order to work on your stability, I have these 5 tips:
1. Make a schedule and stick to it!
Some couples or friends pull out certain times in the day to have downtime or talk about the events that took place without the other. Others make time one day a week to go out and do something fun and communicate. You just need to do what works for your schedule. The more often that you are talking to your partner or friend about the important things, the happier you will be.
2. Remember to forgive them.
Stability is so important, but sometimes people have a lot of stress on their plate and they forget to take care of you as well. Make sure you're forgiving them for their lack of effort when they are busy. Relationships are about caring for one another, not just expecting their attention 24/7.
3. Forgive yourself.
Just like forgiving your partner or friend for their lack of effort, make sure you forgive yourself when all things don't go smoothly. Sometimes the plan gets changed and there is nothing you can do about it- move on from it and let them know you're feeling sorry.
4. Find a mutual activity that you both enjoy!
Stability comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes that means that you both need something to do when together, so pick up a new hobby. It could be video games, crotchet, painting, or whatever you both enjoy. If you can't find something you both love, then make a list of 20 things you each would like to do at some point in the relationship, then every week- do one! Once you finish the 40 things, make a new list and make sure to include the things you both loved!
5. Love each other.
While stability is one of the most important things for all relationships, love is first. If you aren't feeling loved or don't love the person you are trying to be with, then it may be time to end things. Love is crucial and without it, the world has nothing, and your relationship is empty. If you have been together for a long time, it may feel like the passion is gone away, but try number 4's 40 activity list and reignite the passion with new activities you both love.
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