Being a caregiver is not easy; actually, it is super hard. I have been taking care of my mom since I was eight years old. Of course, I was not the person in charge, but I had to help her because she was in bed.
These days, she is at the hospital. Thank God! Her life is not at risk, but when a family member is at the hospital, your routine gets crazy. I see all this "experience" as caregivers as an advantage. When regular parents start getting old and their children have to take care of them, their lives are chaos because they do not know how to manage; in my case, I have been living like that since forever.
For this reason, I want to share some of my knowledge in this area to help you to manage this kind of situation.
1. You cannot do it all.
The most critical point to understand is: you cannot do it all. Typically, you want to have control, but it is impossible. However, you can organize your time; you can choose where you are going to be, and what kind of extra-help you will need. I can assure you if you try to do everything, you will be exhausted in five days, and all is going to be worse.
You are allowed to say "I can't." Nobody is expecting you to do it all. You have a life and now you have to take care of a sick person. It is just impossible. Also, the first days are more complicated because everything is new and you start living with the emergency; as soon as you assume the new reality, you will have more control.
2. Try to normalize the situation.
I know it is not easy, but you must normalize your life again. If in your new life, you have to integrate some new duties as a caregiver. Do it. It can't be a permanent emergency. You need to be stable and secure about your new routine and schedule. Of course, it is not what you dreamed of, but it is part of life.
3. Make the patient understand he/she has to help.
I might sound cruel. One of the reasons we can afford to have my mom sick all these years is because she understands everybody is suffering. She understands we have jobs, partners, responsibilities and other staff we cannot stop because she is sick. And you know what? Because she helps us a lot, we take care of her with more passion.
In illness, the patient is not the only victim, and making the rest of the family be exhausted is not going to help at all.
4. Sleep well.
If I am tired, I can be the worst person in the world. You cannot handle the patient, the doctors, the nurses, the rest of the family, your duties and other many things that are happening at the same time if you don't get time to rest, to sleep, to relax.
I am not telling you to go and have a trip in the middle of the crisis, but you need to have time for yourself. You must be started fresh each day.
5. Ask for help.
As I said in the beginning, you cannot do it all. You must ask for help. I sometimes understand the "help" costs money; then, you need to call the insurance company or your state health department to ask what your options are. Don't be afraid of asking for help.
I know being a caregiver is super hard; however, all of us will be in that place sooner or later. Just stay calm and do your best.
