St. Patrick’s Day. Also known as national get drunk day. A day when everyone breaks out that one green shirt that they can’t wear the rest of the year. A day when you see shamrocks everywhere. A day that, for most people, is quite the good time. However, one certain group of people doesn’t enjoy the day as much as everyone else: redheads.
For redheads, St. Patty’s Day is a day of constant questions and jokes directed at us, aside from the typical ginger jokes that we hear on the regular. If it weren’t for the never-ending beer, we probably wouldn’t make it through the day. There are so many thoughts that run through a redhead’s mind on this frankly pointless holiday, but I’ve narrowed it down to the top five.
1. “No. Having red hair does not make me Irish.”
Despite popular belief, not all redheads are Irish. And while many popularizations of Irish people do involve redheads, the assumption that every one of us is Irish is lavishly incorrect. So please stop asking me.
2. “No I’m not a leprechaun.”
Please don’t ask me where my pot of gold is because I am a redhead wearing green today. These factors do not make me leprechaun. And trust me, if I did have a pot of gold, I certainly wouldn’t tell you where it is.
3. “Please don’t try to 'kiss me.'"
Please see thoughts one and two above. I’m not about to wear a shirt that says “kiss me, I’m blah blah blah.” So even though I look Irish, I assure you it’s not going to happen. So please don’t even bother.
4. “I’m not a shamrock. I have no good luck to give out.”
When you’re in a sea of green and you have red hair, you stick out like a sore thumb. When people find you, they act as if they just found a four leaf clover and expect you to bless them with good luck. I don’t know what’s in that green beer you’ve been drinking, but I assure you I’m about as unlucky as it comes.
5. “At least I look good in green.”
On the upside, this holiday allows us redheads to wear one of the colors we look best in. Redheads always look good in green. So at least we have that going for us on this pointless holiday.
Frankly, I’m flattered that people think gingers are special at least one day a year. So despite the fact that it’s pretty dreadful to have to deal with all the above, it's at least nice to be noticed. So on behalf of all redheads, cheers! Hopefully you find luck elsewhere…
