Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday. For years, I've fantasized about covering my face and hair with Vaseline, throwing on a floor-length white nightgown, rolling around in some dirt and going as Samara from "The Ring." While I haven't yet worked up the courage to have the best costume on campus, I know a thing or two about well-received costumes. As you begin your search for your winning costume idea, keep these things in mind when looking for what not to wear.
1. Anything "sexy" that in real life isn't actually sexy.
Example: Cop, pilot, prisoner, watermelon, etc.
Look, I get it, it's hard to resist the skin tight navy dress with the matching badge and hat, and you so desperately want an excuse to say, "Hands in the air! You're under arrest for being too hot." But wouldn't you rather wear a great dress and a fake-diamond broach and go as Audrey Hepburn or pick a character from a TV show and act like them all night? If you want to go as a cop, go as a cop, but abide by their actual uniform and wear tapered navy pants and an ill-fitting button-down. Oh, and if you decide to show up as a "sexy watermelon" or sexy fruit of any kind, we all reserve the right to ask you to go home and change.
Exceptions: None. Don't do it. Don't dress up like a sexy watermelon.
2. A cat.
I'm not sure what would possess you to do this, but if you feel any urge to dress up as a cat for Halloween -- stop yourself. Freshman year, I made this mistake and it's something I have to live with every day of my life. Go as an elephant or crocodile or something cool.
Exceptions: You dress up as Grizabella from "Cats" the musical.
3. A bunny.
Refer to No. 2.
Exceptions: You buy yourself an orange-and-white 2001 MacBook pro, throw a drink on Vivian Kensington, and graduate from Harvard Law.
4. A "basic white girl."
We get it. "Basic" girls drink pumpkin spice lattes and have 100 pairs of Ugg boots. But this costume is overdone, not that funny, and you probably have a friend or a crush on a girl that loves one or both of those things, so cut them a break. Those lattes are delicious and Ugg boots are comfortable and weather appropriate.
Exceptions: None. Think of a different costume. No one is laughing.
5. A lackluster attempt at pretending you are doing a minimalist costume, but in all reality you didn't plan anything, so you put on a "Hello, My Name Is Dave" sticker and say you're going as Jim from "The Office."
Enough said.
Exceptions: You are John Krasinski.
