This August, I turned 20. I usually don't place a lot of significance on birthdays and age, but for some reason, this particular birthday seemed important. Suddenly, I was faced with the fact that I was no longer a teenager. In my head, the jump from 18 to 19 wasn't far, but 19 to 20 seemed like I was throwing myself over a chasm. As my birthday approached I started thinking about you, the younger Megan. The Megan who didn't know the things that I do. Perhaps I've been reading too much fantasy books lately, but I found myself wondering about what I would say to you. There are so many things I would tell you if I could turn back time, even for just a few minutes:
1. You Are Enough
This may seem like an odd thing to say to you. You're a happy kid. You might have everyone else fooled with your giant smile and your constant laughter, but not me. I know you worry. You worry about what other people think of you. You worry about love. You worry what people will think when you get to high school and you still haven't had your first kiss. I am telling you that you, by yourself, are enough. You do not need another person to complete you. You do not need the approval or the permission of your friends to be the person you are. You do not need someone telling you who you should be and when you should fall in love. That is up to you. Until you find that person, and even after you find that person, you are enough. You are enough.
2. You Are Going To Lose Some Friends--And That's Okay
You have a lot of friends. That's a good thing. You give a lot of yourself to other people, you like to make them laugh. I just want you to know that the friends you have now might not necessarily stay your friends forever. I know you promised each other that, and you are going to be furious that I am telling you this, but it's true. The fact that the friends you had when you were ten are not your friends now does not make you a terrible person. You loved your friend when they were your friend and you had fun together. That it what matters. The fact that you are no longer speaking to that person does not make you a bad friend. Sometimes, people move, attitudes change, and you grow apart. It hurts, and I know sometimes when you lose a friend it feels like your world is ending, but I promise you: you are going to be okay. I'm talking to you from the future, remember? You're going to be okay.
3. You Don't Have To Be Perfect
You put a lot of pressure on yourself. I know people tell you that you are smart, and you feel like you need to live up to their expectations, but that is simply not true. You love to learn and you love to write, do those things for you. When you don't get that perfect score on a test, please be gentle with yourself. You're learning. Your parents will tell you that all they want is for you to be happy, and that is true. But I want you to want to be happy. Being happy does not always equal being perfect at everything. Think about what really makes you happy. You are happy when you are with your friends, going on adventures with your family, reading books and writing stories. Are you happy when you do well on a test or a paper? Of course, you are. But there are other happy moments too, and I want you to find them.
4. Try And Make One Person's Day Better
A lot of bad stuff is going on in the world, and I know that you don't always understand all of it. I don't think anyone expects you to fully understand what most adults are still struggling to wrap their heads around, but I know that sometimes you feel helpless. Do you know a way to make even a little difference in the world? Be kind. Reach out to someone, even if it is just the person who stands next to you in line when you're at the grocery store with mom. Compliment their outfit or their hair. Do something silly. Help someone who needs it. By doing these small acts of kindness, you are making the world a less terrible place. Of course, there are still problems, there is still a lot of work to do, but you gave a little love. Sometimes that's all you can do. Love. Love, love, love and don't you ever stop.
5. Do What Makes You Happy
This is a lesson that you will be learning your entire life. Life is full of decisions and indecision. I know that you always like to be sure of the outcome of the choice you are making, but you cannot know everything. You agonize over choice, because you don't want to let anyone down. I understand, but remember that there is another person you are letting down when you worry about these decisions: yourself. Ultimately, you are the one who is going to be affected by whatever you choose. You have to choose between spending the winter skiing or playing basketball? Do what makes you happy. This is your life. Of course, there are things that you have to do, like school and chores and listening to your parents, but you also have a choice. You have a choice between the things that make you happy and the things that make you sad. Sometimes, you don't have a choice and you have to do the thing that is difficult and frustrating and hard. I'm telling you, though, that when you have the options, do what makes you happy. You deserve nothing but a life filled with happiness, laughter, and love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
