We all know how it goes: a meme trends for a few days, loses popularity, and another one takes over before long. Whatever the type of meme, there are still popular underlying themes among these Internet sensations that tend to last longer than the memes themselves, and one of them is the relationship.
There are memes surrounding all kinds of relationships, whether they be “side-hoe” relationships, serious relationships, nonchalant relationships, marriages—you name it. If you can think of any kind of relationship, there’s probably a meme about it.
The only issue is the fact that the realistic nature of these memes is questionable. Many of these memes are meant to be taken lightheartedly, while others are meant to be entirely serious. “Relationship goals” have taken over the Internet. With this sensation in place, I have a few points I thought I’d leave you with for the next time you encounter a relationship-based meme.
1. Do you feel insecure when you look at it?
I’ve noticed that the typical couple for memes that show “relationship goals” tend to be of more stereotypically attractive individuals. Should you feel insecure because someone else looks different than you? Of course not, but after seeing the same kinds of body types day in and day out on social media, it can be easy to subconsciously feel like “relationship goals” are also “body goals.” Don’t allow Photoshopped, filtered and edited pictures create your idea of physical beauty or love. Remember that while the caption for the picture can be true, that the kind of people in a certain type of relationship are not limited to the kinds shown in the picture. Relationships are for people that look like you, too.
Take this couple here, for instance. These pictures look great. Heck, they look great. You see how that girl is smiling, and how they both look happy together? You don’t have to look exactly like them to have that.
2. Does it glorify disloyalty?
Another trend I’ve been noticing lately is the “side hoe” culture. Memes are spreading on the Internet that joke about “side hoes needing to stay in their lane” or “hiding from your side hoe.”
In reality, there isn’t anything funny about having to hide yourself from another person because you want them to remain a source of personal satisfaction. That is not what a normal relationship with a person would consist of. You aren’t a “side hoe” or a “main hoe.” In fact, if anyone calls you a “hoe” at all, know that you deserve more than that.
Secondly, if you cannot commit to a person, be honest with them about it (and I’m not slut-shaming here). Communication is key. Even if you just want an open relationship or are dealing with personal commitment fears, work on talking to your significant other or love interest(s) about it. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t end well, and you discover at the end of the day that they aren’t for you. That only brings you closer to finding someone who is.
3. Does it reflect a healthy desire?
There is a difference between being in love and being infatuated with someone. Do not let Internet memes fool you into thinking that love is always sexy, because it is not. Love is messy and can even be ugly, but it’s true when people say it’s a beautiful thing. Love is beautiful because you learn so much about what it means to be a human being. You discover more about the world and existing in it by being in love with another person, and you learn that there are things within yourself that are and will come to be that you did not think could possibly exist.
The way this happens is not through being the sexiest couple or person, because even the “sexiest” people look different when the filters are gone and it’s 6 a.m. and they have boogers stuck to the side of their nose. Do not allow memes to impose a formulaic idea of who you have to be and how you should desire others.
4. Does it reflect a realistic desire?
Sure, being on a paddleboard on top of crystal-clear water with the love of your life sounds amazing, but not everyone gets to do those things. Realistically, most couples don’t get to do those things. Guess what else? It’s fine to dream of going on adventures with your loved one, and I’m sure it’s even healthy in many other ways.
However, it becomes easy to get caught up in the dream and lose sight of reality, especially when you feel so ready to have a serious relationship. Your significant other also might not want to do the same things as you or go to the same places. While you’re thinking about some exotic resort in Spain, your significant other might want a simple trip to the dog park. That moment could be the moment you discover you love dog parks. Or hate them.
The important thing is that both of you are discovering, and in the end, whether you do get the chance to travel the world with someone or not, any little thing you do with someone you love becomes more significant than the dreams you thought you needed. While anything is possible, don’t be too disappointed when you spend most of your time as a couple cooking or chilling on the couch. Those memories are precious, too.
5. Will this really make you happy?
Oftentimes, relationship memes online perpetuate the idea that you need whatever these “goals” might be. It is true that as humans, we require both physical and emotional intimacy. Whether or not unrealistic and unhealthy ideas of relationships are what we need is debatable.
After constantly chasing these unrealistic and unhealthy standards, you’ll find you won’t really be happy once you get it. And hey, maybe you will, but I’m betting that like most of the population, that satisfaction won’t last for very long. Most people need real relationships that enhance our sense of self and purpose. By defining yourself only through a relationship, you aren’t achieving a genuine unity with that person.
While a relationship does help you find yourself, establishing some fragment of who you are before pursuing something serious is important. That makes you happy, and when you can share that with another person, it only makes you happier.
There you have it. Ask yourself these things before having an automatic “I want that” reaction to a relationship-based meme. Not all of them are bad, obviously, but sometimes, overindulging in these internet trends can make you want something more than you did before it was there.
To the single people: you’re making it by yourself and doing an awesome job. Don’t let anyone convince you that you always need to be in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being single, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little intimacy. It is also important to make sure you aren’t perpetuating unrealistic and unhealthy desires that lead the general public to disillusionment and disappointment. A “share” is worth a thousand words.
