It's been said that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but for my husband and I it has been the best. This year, I made a commitment to pray for him -- not just sit down, close my eyes, and tell God all of the things I wanted to change; but actually pray for him, his struggles, and our life together. This year of prayer within our marriage has been the best of my life. Committing to pray for my husband has worked wonders for our lives and our marriage.
I learned how to listen
When I started praying for my husband, my prayers consisted of me closing my eyes, telling God about our marital problems, asking Him to bless Josh, saying Amen, and getting up and walking away. As I have spent more time with God alone in prayer I have realized that my part of prayer should be the smallest portion. Through praying for my husband I have learned to be quiet and listen to the things God has to say back to me. His words come in so many ways: scripture, a wise friend, the chirping birds, a quiet whisper in my soul. Taking time to be still and listen to what God has to teach me has taught me to be still and listen when my husband needs to talk to me.
I learned how to be a better spouse
This one goes hand-in-hand with the first. As I have started to listen to God (more than I speak) He has revealed some things in my own life that need changing. Throughout our marriage I have become a more patient, loving, and forgiving spouse. Love, patience, and forgiveness are critical to a lasting marriage and I don’t come by the last two naturally. It is because I pray for my husband that I am able to love him the way he needs to be loved, respect him unconditionally, and forgive him for anything he does wrong.
Prayers were answered
While it’s true that 90% of my prayer time now involves me listening, it is also true that God never fails to hear my petitions. As I pray for my husband I get the privilege of seeing those prayers be answered. I have watched as my husbands heart was torn between grace and shame; freedom and guilt; life and death. Prayer is powerful not because of the words I speak but because of who I am speaking to. My husband’s name has been lifted up consistently to the Throne of the King. I have gotten to see the results of faithful prayer in his life— grace won; freedom won; life won because Jesus won.
Burdens were placed on Jesus (and not on each other)
We’ve heard the saying that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but for my husband and I it was the best year we’ve had together so far! Before we got married, neither one of us had been truly committed to prayer and we both relied more on each other than on the Lord. When I began to pray for him (and he for me), we were able to give our struggles to Jesus instead of piling them on each other. It’s true that in our first year of marriage we have had to make hard decisions, discover difficult truths, and work through serious struggles; however, we have been able to give all of those things to Jesus who in turn gives us the peace and love we need to make it through.
We love each other more
Because we have peace knowing that our burdens are safe with Jesus, we spend less time worrying about them and more time enjoying each other. It has been said that it’s the little romantic moments that keep a marriage alive. Nothing is more romantic than seeing the person I love through the eyes of The One who loves him the most. When I started praying for my husband, I began to love him in a way I never had before. I started to see the boy I knew as the man God created him to be. God has given me a love in my heart for my husband that wouldn’t be there without Him.
In a world where marriages are falling apart prayer is the only thing that can restore broken hearts and mend torn relationships. The best way to love someone else is to love Jesus first.
Ephesians 6:8 "And pray in the spirit in all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for the Lord's people."
