Even though I am in my (very) early twenties, I still have trouble completing certain tasks that some say should come easy. I probably call my mom about four times a day asking her all sorts of domestic questions that I probably should know the answers to by now. The day that I learn how to load the dishwasher and washing machine will be the day that pigs fly.
1. Separate my laundry.
Yeah mom, I know I should separate my lights from darks, but I can’t. I still shove everything into the washing machine, toss a pod in there and hope for the best. Don’t worry, though, I make sure to use cold water.
2. Hand-wash dishes.
Ew. There is nothing worse than wet food. I refuse to hand-wash the dirty dishes that sit in the sink; instead, I give them a quick rinse and load them in the dishwasher.
3. Make my bed.
OK, can we be real for a second? Making your bed is the most pointless thing I have ever heard of in my life. I get out of my bed and then seven hours later I lay right back in it. What is the point of making it? I honestly will never get it.
4. Open a bottle of wine.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t open a bottle of wine without it splashing all over me. It might have to do with having only one arm, but in all seriousness, I don’t think wine openers are that much help. However, that bottle will be opened even if it kills me.
5. Get my life together.
Everyday something goes wrong. I lose a shoe, I can’t find my prosthetic and I have no clean leggings. I honestly don’t think that I will never have my life completely together. I bet tomorrow I’ll forget to charge my computer or I’ll forget that I have literally no gas in my tank.
6. Follow a recipe.
Honestly, I could have a cookbook right in front of me and still mess up the recipe to some degree. The amount of times I have called my mom to triple-check if I have followed the steps right is getting embarrassing.
7. Shut the lights off.
I know it is such a bad habit and a waste of energy if you don't shut the lights off, but I never remember. I leave the bathroom light on more times than I don't, and I'm sure my dad would have a heart attack if he saw my electric bill. (Sorry, Dad.)
8. Commit to a pair of jeans.
Leggings. Leggings. Leggings.
9. Keep an organized bedroom.
Clothes are constantly strung about my room. I have about three coffee cups on my desk and my shoes are scattered throughout my entire apartment.
10. Get a boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong, the single life is the way to go but I literally couldn't keep a boy around to save my life. So actually, you're welcome, Dad.
