I spent more time in an abusive relationship than I'd like to admit.

Things started off good. He loved me and I loved him. We spent a lot of time together, laughing having fun. A lot of our friends always told us how happy we seemed. Little by little things started to change. We spent less time together, and when we did it was silence and bitterness. He would come home from work and yell at me for his day going bad. He started drinking more and loving me less. I always justified the yelling and nasty comments as him having a bad day. But soon harsh words turned into being in each others' faces. Small sore spots turned into purple and red marks littering my skin. I wasn't that foolish girl that believed he would change. No, I was far worse than that. I thought he needed someone to love him. Someone to understand. But what he really needed, was someone to blame his problems on so that he didn't have to admit to himself what an awful boy he had become.

I finally left, when things hit a peak and he had left so many marks that my boss told me that if I didn't call the cops, he would. What some people don't see, is some of the worst marks he ever left, were emotional. I've been out of that relationship for over a year. And I've started a new one. I've been with my current boyfriend for just under seven months. I know he would never lay a hand on me with the intent to inflict pain, but that doesn't mean I don't still react with fear. Here are 5 things you should probably be aware of if you're friends with or are thinking about dating someone who's been through any type of abusive relationship. Whether it be physical or emotional.

1. Reassurance

They're going to look for constant reassurance in everything they do. Even in the smallest things. Don't mistake it for wanting praise. They're simply trying to make sure you're not upset that they've done something wrong.

2. Self-Worth

They probably question their self-worth more than anyone deserves to. In that type of relationship it's not hard to forget that you deserve to be treated well. That you deserved to be loved.

3. Anxiety

There are so many things they will develop anxiety over. Even just everyday things. Maybe to you, spilling a glass of soda is just an accident. But maybe to them, it was something to fear. Accidents often lead to very unpleasant outcomes.

4. Perfection

They strive for perfection. They try to please everyone. And keep everyone happy. When they put away a stack of movies, just putting them on the shelf won't do because if their old partner noticed a movie out of line, it would be hurled at them.

5. They're going to resemble a skittish cat.

I've been told on more occasion than one, that I resemble a skittish cat when I used to be a loveable puppy. It's true. I was always affectionate and upbeat. Now I find myself staying quiet and distancing myself. So if you knew them before the relationship and after, they're not doing it on purpose. It's become their survival instinct. If they're unnoticed, then no one will hurt them.

And now here are five things I wish someone would have told me a year ago.

1. "You deserve better."

Sweetheart I promise you, it isn't your fault they had a bad day at work. And you don't deserve the unforgiving storm that follows them through the door.

2. "You're not broken."

You are not broken. Don't you dare for a second think that no one will love you again. Because the first person who will love you is yourself. Aside from that, one day you will meet someone who knows what you've been through and still wants you.

3. "They won't change."

No matter how much you think that you can help them, or how much love you give it's not going to change. They won't wake up one day, and suddenly realize how much of a mistake they made by treating a wonderful person this way. 5 things to know about your friend that's been through an abusive relationship and 5 things to know if you're in one or just got out of one.

4. "Your friends still love you."

I know you probably think that all of your friends think you're a fool for staying because you think the same. But I promise you still have people who love you. Who want to help you. Don't hesitate to lean on them. Let them help you, please.

5. "You are not what they said you are."

You are not worthless. You are not unlovable. You are not always wrong. You are not a mistake. You are an amazing person, who gave your all to someone who didn't deserve it. Someone will love you the way you deserve, and you will be happy.

Not all abusive relationships are females being abused by men. Men can be abused too. Don't turn a blind eye to that, ever.