If you’re going into your freshman year, and leaving a significant other at home, I commend you for holding on because long distance is definitely not easy. It takes a lot of trust, communication, and patience to do it. Not every day will be pleasant; somedays they’ll really test you, and hopefully you’ll never get to a point where you wonder if you can do it anymore but sometimes you do. If it’s real then I’m sure the ups and downs will be nothing compared to the strength of what you have together but be wary of the hardships that you may come across.
1.You schedules might differ now, and it could be difficult to find time to talk to each other.
Don’t worry, it’s nobody’s fault...unless one or neither of you are making an effort. However, it will take time to adjust. You both have to have patience with each other. To those back home, just know that no one is avoiding you or intentionally trying to push you away. In fact it probably, if not definitely, is the hardest on your partner away. They probably feel a lot of the guilt of not being able to talk to you as much as they used to. Now they’re trying to figure out how to balance school and this new environment, as well as keeping you one of their top priorities.
2.Don’t be the person who’s always in their dorm room waiting to Skype or to get a call from their SO (Significant Other).
This is important especially in your first year of college. There is so much going on, especially in that first semester. Memories that you will never get back if you let them pass. Trust me, you will miss out. You don’t want your partner to feel left in the dust, but you also don’t want to keep yourself from living and experiencing new things. While you're waiting for that text or call go outside, do some exploring, make some new friends! Communicate with your partner to schedule times for you to do things, and time for each other.
3.A little bit goes a long way.
If either or both of you have a jam packed day, make sure you let your SO know that. It really only takes a couple of seconds to text, “Hey babe. Going to be a bit busy today. Thinking of you!” or “Things are a little crazy right now, sorry if I don’t get back to you.” That takes a lot of stress off the other person. There’s no longer the wonder or internal thoughts of, “Where are they?” “Are they ignoring/avoiding me?” “Are they mad at me?” “Did something happen to them?” You need to keep each other at least somewhat in the loop, otherwise you’re planting a seed for future issues to arise.
4.DON’T CHEAT
It’s never worth it. If you’re tempted or you think that’s it’s a possibility of happening, then you should leave the relationship. Either way, it’s going to hurt, but it’s better to deal with and work through when you’re being honest with you SO. It gets much worse when there is the addition of going behind their back, lying, and doing that ultimate betrayal. If you think your SO is starting to stray, or something just isn’t right, then you two need to sit down and discuss the issue.
5.Communication is KEY
In all of these I’ve mentioned communication, and it’s because I think it’s the most important thing when it comes to long distant relationships. When you’re in a relationship like this, you have to remember that you’re not face to face anymore, you won’t be seeing them often, and things will start to fall through the cracks. Conversations are now held over the phone, text, and video messaging. Remember that over text you lose both body language and audial tone. Things can be taken the wrong way when you lack those two essential parts of communication. Using punctuation when texting helps a lot to clear up intended meaning, however it’s just best to stay clear of having intense conversations or arguments over text. Phone conversations are much better, where you can hear the inflection of tone, though you still miss body language. But it’s still one of the best ways to communicate with your SO. Finally, if you can Skype or do some type of video communication I highly recommend doing it. I think it’s the best way to bring your SO to you without the travel. Yes, it still suck that there’s no physical touching, but it’s honestly the best you can get being so far away.
So good luck on your first year at college! Don’t worry too much when leaving your SO at home, as long as you work together as a team, and are willing to go over a few bumps in the road, then I’m sure you’ll be fine.
