Everyone has that short friend and unfortunately, that short friend is me.
That means, whenever I go out in public, there are certain phrases I am almost guaranteed to hear. Whether its from my friends or complete strangers (or even the characters in theme parks- true story), someone will always make a typical comment or joke about my height.
1. “Are you even over 5’?”. Yes. Yes I am over 5’ tall. Some people are surprised when they discover there are body types between the heights of 5’0” and 5’3”. Seriously. If someone who is 5’6” asks if I’m under 5’ and I tell them I am 5’2”, they won’t believe me.
2. “There’s no way you’re only 4 inches shorter than me!”. This leads to this next statement. Yes, there is a way I am only 4 inches shorter than you, even if you think you tower over me. And yes, that means that if I wear 4 inch heels, we would actually be the same height. Math is crazy, huh?
3. “Don’t you think you should wear heels more often then?” Heels? Like those torturing devices built to break your feet until you can’t walk for days? Have you ever considered wearing heels everyday 24/7? No, because they’re the least comfortable shoes ever invented and even if I was self-conscious about my height, I would rather wear platform shoes or those walking sticks that clowns wear in circuses or something. But luckily, I’m perfectly content with my height so I’d rather just be short, thanks.
4. “Is this your younger sister?” It doesn’t matter if I’m at a football game with my boyfriend, a concert with my best friend, or at a family party with my actual younger (but taller) sister and brother. People always assume that because I am short, I must be the younger sibling of whomever I’m with. It doesn’t matter if we don’t even look the same or if the other person looks younger. When I went to Disney World with my family, I went to take a picture with Peter Pan and my brother (who is 5 years younger but easily a foot taller). After Peter assumed I was the younger sibling and I had corrected him, he proceeded to laugh at me for being shorter than my younger brother. Typical.
5. “You’re so short!”. Yes. Yes, I am short but I also own a mirror and therefore I am aware of the physical limitations of my height. I appreciate your blunt comment that has now drawn complete attention to my vertical lacking but I would appreciate it if you would keep your obvious observations to yourself in the future.
Although the plight of short people is often written about and brought to people’s attention, I know that I will hear these comments and questions for the rest of my life. However, I think I speak for all short people when I say that I am happy with my height and I wouldn’t chose to be a “tall person” any day. In the word’s of Spongebob, I’m short and I’m proud.
