Long-term relationships and the feelings surrounding them can be completely left or completely right, especially if the two people in question are young, however, unless you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s hard to really understand why these things can be annoying. As someone who’s been in a relationship for almost six years with someone who goes to a different college, here’s a look into some of the things I get asked.
1. You’ve lost your freedom, right?
Nope. If you’re in a relationship, long-term or not, and you feel like you’ve lost your freedom, you’re doing it wrong. Being in a LT relationship is like having a life-long best friend—you do things together and independently. One of the most important things about being in a LT relationship is having individuality while still depending on each other.
2. You guys are basically going to get married, right?
Nope. You don’t know our lives; we’ve got other stuff to do right now. We’re focused on other things, such as our careers, hobbies and just improving our relationship to be the best it can be. Getting married is a huge step and just because you’re in a LT relationship, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get married. Some people in relationships are content with just that! Marriage isn’t for everyone, so stop assuming.
3. How can you be committed to someone that long?
Simple: I love them and they love me. They support me in my endeavors and are there to catch me when I fall. They support when I want to do individual activities (hanging out with friends, taking up a new hobby) and I do the same. The only answer to this question is that they enrich my life so much that they’re whom I want to spend my time with. They’re the person at the end of the day that I want to curl up on the couch with a pint of ice cream and talk to about everything.
4. Didn’t you miss going “wild” in college?
Nope. While there’s nothing wrong with going all out in college, that just wasn’t the case for us and I know it’s not for a few people I know in LT relationships. There are couples that “party” together, but it’s not something that we’re comfortable with. We’re content with each other, so the desire to go out and experiment really wasn’t there. We both got involved in school and we shared all of those experiences together. We got a lot of heat right before we went to college to break up and experience other people. We were told that we were too committed too early, but to be honest that’s nobody’s decision except ours.
5. What happens when you break up? Are you going to be a complete wreck?
Honestly, I’m not thinking about that. If there’s an issue, we take the time to work it out, even if the conversations aren’t easy ones to have. That’s the difference between LT relationships and short-term relationships, the ability to work things out. If things don’t get resolved, they can build up and someone can explode because they didn’t do the dishes right away. Communication is key, short and simple. If we do decide to break up, we’ll try our best to make it civil. It’s usually best to block off bridges instead of burning them. The thing to remember is that you did love them at one point, and there is a certain amount of respect that needs to go into a breakup.
