My younger sister and I have always been extremely close. We are 9 years apart in age, but it honestly never felt like it. I was the older sister who bossed her around and she was the little sweetheart who followed me everywhere and snuck into my room each night after our parents went to bed. When I went away to college we remained close, but we both began to live separate lives. We lived in different states and found it hard to see each other and spend time like we used to. We always talked about living together again, but it seemed like a distant dream that we both weren’t sure would ever work out. Fast-forward a couple years and now here we are--we just moved into a new apartment in a new city for an all-new adventure together. The naïve girl inside of me thought us living together would be just like when we were growing up but we were both in for a few surprises. We had both grown up and changed in the years since I had lived at home, and while I love living together and wouldn’t trade it for the world, I have learned a few things since we moved back in with each other.
1. Your baby sister isn’t a baby anymore.
Gone are the days when your little sister only wanted to hang out with you. She’s her own person now, her own wonderful person. She has her own friends; her own life and she may even curse a little. You have to start seeing her as the young adult she has become and not the curly-haired little girl who always wanted to tag along when you went out with your friends.
2. She won’t listen to you.
You’re not the mom. You aren’t there to tell her what to do, so stop trying. You are there to comfort her, be there for her, and give her advice. You may have the best intentions of trying to protect her, but let her discover the world for herself. All experiences, even the negative ones, shape us into the person we become, so don’t deprive her of that. You can’t shelter her from the world no matter how hard you try. Offer advice, but don’t cross the line of telling her what she can and cannot do.
3. It’s okay to have different interests.
She isn’t going to be the same little girl who followed you around and liked all the same things as you. She doesn’t want to be you anymore and that’s okay, she has grown into her own woman. You won’t agree on everything, but that will make for friendly discussions. It’s important to respect each other’s views and opinions even when they do not match your own.
4. Alone time is okay.
Before we moved in together, I thought my sister and I were always going to be together. If we weren’t out somewhere with each other, then I assumed we would be at home doing something together. Less than a week after moving in together, we realized that we both needed our own space sometimes. I discovered it’s not going to be constant hang out sessions and sleepover parties for the two of us. We both need some alone time and that’s okay. It’s essential to our relationship as sisters and roommates to spend a little time apart.
5. This is going to be even more fun than I imagined.
I knew that living together would be really great but I had no idea just how fun it would be. Living with my sister means always having my best friend right there. Someone to tell me if my outfit looks good and to help me wing my eyeliner. My favorite times are when we have late night dance parties in the kitchen and deep conversations discussing the lyrics of a Lil Wayne song. These are memories I am going to cherish for the rest of my life and I am so happy that we live with each other again. We have gotten even closer since moving in together and I can’t wait for our future together.
