I come from a very tight-knit family – in my house, we have Thanksgiving with my mother, father sister, grandmother, and grandfather. I’d never thought about big Thanksgivings; I’d never thought about attending someone else’s celebration of the holiday but then I went away to college in a state 11 hours away. Spending Thanksgiving with relative strangers became my reality – and this isn’t a bad thing. Yes, I definitely have moments where I want to be with my own family but I also love the little glimpses into other families. These beautiful, happy flashes of families as close to each other as my family is. So here are my five major takeaways from these Thanksgivings
1. There’s always too much food and it’s a point of pride that there is.
This one’s probably my favorite. Every Thanksgiving I’ve been to someone has always said, ‘We always makes way too much food’ or ‘It would be a crime to run out! That would never happen in this house.’ I particularly love that everyone is convinced their family makes the most food. If there’s one thing everyone agrees on it’s that there should be at least double the food required for the number of people there.
2. Everyone has their own traditions – and they like to share.
While there’s almost always turkey and mashed potatoes, every family has a different set up when the food is not the focus. Some families just talk before and after the dinner – which really requires that outsiders to learn a lot about people very quickly – whereas others go on walks and others watch the football game (loudly with a lot of passion). My favorite part about this is how much pride people have for their traditions and their family. I hardly go five minutes without someone happily – if sometimes in a deprecating manner – proclaiming something about how their family does Thanksgiving.
3. The Differences
The differences between Thanksgivings are what makes spending them in different places so interesting but they can also make it feel overwhelming. For me, it’s important to take the opportunity to see how different people think and live, without comparing it to my family. Maybe the mashed potatoes are not as good as my Dad’s but the variety of people is amazing. I happen to be a watcher and listener more than a participator so seeing that aunt that loves her nephew to pieces and showers him in kisses or watching the new baby be passed around to her great-grandmother are highlights to me. I feel so privileged that I get to experience these connections.
4. New traditions are made all the time.
I feel like there is so much pressure to maintain old traditions but I think new traditions are beautiful. The traditions we make with our friends in college are as beautiful as the one's tens of years old. And, new traditions can be made all the time and have lasting impacts. The Thanksgiving I was at this year involved little cards with nice things written on them for each person and it was the first year they did so. Original gestures sometimes make the best moments and can lead to amazing traditions.
5. People are kind.
Above all, I’ve learned that people are kind. I’ve had whole families welcome me for Thanksgiving and excitedly share their holiday with me and nothing, to me, is sweeter and more magical than being allowed to see a little sliver of other families, their traditions, and the love they share for each other.
