Lessons Learned From A Long Distance Relationship

Lessons Learned From A Long Distance Relationship

Dedicated to the spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends of our American servicemen
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I never thought I would ever be in a long distance relationship. I also never imagined being in a relationship with a guy at a military school. This meant that we would not see each other and would have extremely limited contact for three months. It has been a very long three months but as we are now days away from seeing each other again I have looked back on what I have learned during this separation.

1. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

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It sounds really cliche but in all reality this saying is true. I have learned how much I love spending time with my boyfriend or even just being able to talk on the phone with him and how much I miss our time spent together while we are apart.

2. You cherish the time you do get to spend with them/talk to them.

I used to get upset when I didn't hear from my boyfriend for a few hours. Now, I may not hear from him for a week or more and I have had to learn to deal with that. However, it has made me appreciate and cherish every single message I get from him. Even if it is a quick I love you because that may be all I get from him for a while.

3.You learn how invested in your relationship your family is:

My mom is constantly asking me if I have heard from my boyfriend and reassuring me when I haven't heard from him in a while. My parents are constantly telling me how excited they are to see him again, while also making fun of me because they get to see him before me. I am truly grateful for parents who love my boyfriend so much and are truly invested in our relationship.

4. You learn who your true friends are:

The ones who are just as excited as you for the months apart to end are the ones who are most likely going to stick with you through the long nights of missing your significant other or sit through you constantly talking about them. Your true friends are the ones who will drag you out of bed and bring you to a coffee shop or anything to keep you busy because they see you are moping around missing your S.O.

5.You learn how meaningful the smallest things can be:

Small things like a goofy picture of the two of you or a letter that was written for an anniversary become the things that you turn to when you are missing your S.O the most. I have short videos of the two of us that I watch all the time just to hear his voice which makes missing him a tiny bit easier for a little bit.


Whether you are in a long distance relationship or not, being separated from your S.O is hard. Thank you to all military spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends for your sacrifice and thank you to their service men and women for their service to our country.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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Leave Your Ex Alone

They don't want to bother with you, so stop bothering them.

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It's okay to be friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can never be friends immediately after the break-up or else the friendship will fail. To be someone's friend you must be able to support them and love them. Relationships almost never end on good terms, so how can you be truly supportive to the person that broke you? You can't.

You both need time to heal and love yourselves again without the emotional support that you both have been leaning on for so long."You can't fix yourself while holding on to the person that broke you." -r.h.sin. Remember that.

Also, please for the sake of all your friends, followers, and your self-dignity, keep your relationship off social media. I'm not saying don't post want you to want to post, but when your profile has turned into a hate blog for your ex, I think it's time quit. Not only does constantly posting negative things about your ex make you look bad, but it also makes the healing process go even slower and possibly ruin the chances of friendship again.

And if you truly believe that sending a text that is close to the length of 400 words to your ex explaining once again that you are completely over them will make them change their minds then go off, but know it most likely won't work. Then didn't care the first time, they won't care the seventh time.

So basically, be respectful and be kind to your ex. No matter how messed upshot they did was and no matter how badly that hurt you, realize that treating them terrible back solves nothing and only reflects badly on you. You can't change how people treat you, but you can choose how to react.

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