1) The difference between a toxic friend and a real friend.
One thing is for sure, my college best friends have taught me what it's like to have a real friendship. They've shown me what it's like to have a friendship with someone who doesn't harm me in any way. Through my best friends, I've realized I never deserved to be treated the way I have been in friendships before. They've shown me the true greatness of being with friends who care about me.
2) I can be my true self around those who really care.
As someone who is considered an "outsider", my best friends have shown me what it's like to feel welcomed. I've been accepted for my faults, and I've been accepted for my strengths. I've realized that who I am is something I should never change. I should never force myself to be someone I'm not, and especially not for people who couldn't care less about me.
3) The difference between "I love you" and meaning it.
If I had a dollar for the amount of times someone has told me they love me and not meant it, I could pay my college tuition in full right now. My best friends have shown me what it's like to feel the love I deserve from people who I love. Telling someone you love them without meaning it is like stabbing someone and expecting an apology for their blood on your shirt. I've felt the pain of apologizing for no reason for too long.
4) I shouldn't apologize for anything I don't need to apologize for.
I constantly say sorry for merely existing. I should never have to apologize for something I am, and I'm finally starting to realize this. We as people deserve only the purest of love, the truest form of love. The amount of times I've felt sorry for "annoying" or "irritating" my college best friends is unreal. They will tell me when something I do is irritating, or irrational. They are honest with me, and honest about how they feel.
5) I can depend on them for anything and not feel sorry for it.
My college best friends have helped me through more tough times than I can count. The sleepless nights, the anxious calls, the texts saying "I wish I was dead", and the responses from them that made me feel a wave a calm. I never knew how much it meant for someone to care enough about me to make me realize I deserve happiness. I deserve to be myself and I don't need to change a damn thing about myself.
So for those of you who have college best friends as great as mine, I applaud you. I applaud you for finding those people who make life worth living, and who make you feel the way you deserve to feel. And to those of you who are the college best friends, thanks for all you've done for us "outsiders" with tough, old friendships. You guys are the real reasons for true friendships.
