I was raised by my dad for most of my life. My dad is in most of my writing because he's wonderful. Being a single parent is very difficult. Being a single dad is something that is not seen as common. My life has been different than most people's and that's why I love it. Growing up with a single dad taught me so many valuable lessons.
1.There's beauty in unconvention
Not a lot of people are raised by their dads. Usually when parents split up, children remain with their mother for the most part. This was not the case with my family. Being raised by my dad is what worked best in my situation. This has allowed me to follow unconventional paths. I do what's best for me regardless of what society would lean towards.
2. Always speak up for yourself
“The least you can do is ask them” is my father's favorite thing to tell me. He always taught me to take charge and to go after things in life. I think many times, women hold themselves back from asking for what they want or need. Being raised by a man taught me to approach life like a man. I'm not saying that mothers can't teach their daughters this; however this lesson comes more naturally from fathers due to the gender roles society imposes on us.
3. It's all about the follow through
Most people can have a child biologically but it takes a whole lot of self sacrifice to stick around and be a good parent. Conventionally, it is believed that mothers are more inclined to be a caretaker. I find this to be untrue. My father and plenty other men absolutely love parenthood and some women don't feel the desire to be mothers. Being a good parent comes from a place of love and selflessness that has nothing to do with gender. It always bothered me growing up when people would endlessly praise my dad for being a single father - not because I felt he didn't deserve it. It was because I felt that single mothers deserve that much praise as well. Since it's expected from a mother to be maternal, it's kind of thought of as normal. But the sacrifices single parents make are never normal. They are always extraordinary and I believe both sexes should receive an equal amount of praise.
4. Feminism is for everyone
A couple months ago when I faced sexism, I came home and told my dad what I had gone through. His response was "this is why we need feminism." My father did not start out a feminist, but as the years have gone by and as he's seen me and my sisters face sexism, he has become one. There is always the question “can men be feminist?” and to that I say yes. There are so many ways that women reaching equality can benefit men. For one thing, men's paternal instinct can be recognized and women not feeling maternal can also be accepted. There are countless of other ways. I can say that since my father became a feminist, our relationship has gotten even better which I think is an awesome aspect of feminism.
5. Life works out in the end
Growing up with a single dad was messy, chaotic and absolutely wonderful. There were many times that I felt a gap where a mother should be, but that was okay. Sometimes life throws things at you that you never expected. I found that love got me through. When things took an unexpected turn I had someone that stepped up for me. I'm beyond lucky for this. I know I wouldn't be the independent, unapologetic, hard-working person I am today if it wasn't for my upbringing. I'm grateful for all the missteps along the way.
