"God bless you if you have one child, but I don't think anybody should have just one child. Everybody needs a sibling. I have siblings, and I have so many amazing, precious memories with my siblings. I don't know what I would do if I had been an only child." - Sherri Shepherd
I am the big sister to my four younger siblings. And when my dad recently remarried, I gained two more step-siblings. Growing up, countless times I viewed my role in the family as a huge responsibility— and more like a burden.
Why did I have to be the one to babysit, break up fights, cook, and play the role of mom when my parents weren’t around?
Why did my siblings seemingly get away with more than I did?
Why did I have such a pressure put on me to “set a good example?”
Why did I have to be the oldest?
There were questions that probably drove my parents to the brink of insanity in my rebellious fits as a teenager, annoyed with the tasks they dealt me just because I was the oldest. In hindsight, they never really asked anything too terribly difficult of me, but of course, my views now are more mature and understanding. Back then, I highly considered running away and joining the circus just to avoid babysitting or cooking dinner.
But even the clowns at the circus could never replace the endless amount of laughter my siblings have gifted me.
Just as my parents, I’ve watched each of them grow individually, and it has been an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. They’re my biggest supporters and my best friends. I was never truly alone because I always had them, even if they were pulling my hair or pranking me any chance they got. Through the best and worst of times, I am eternally grateful for the many life lessons they’ve taught me.
1. The value of patience
It’s not always easy to round up everyone in the car to make it to a family event on time. A homework problem can seemingly take forever to get through when you know the answer without really having to think, but your younger brother can’t quite figure out. Sometimes you have to wait to use the shower. But the few extra minutes of my time I’ve spent waiting or encouraging my siblings has taught me a great amount of patience.
2. How to deal with agony and frustration
Bickering is inevitable when you have siblings. There will be countless petty fights over how to say a word correctly, or who called “shotgun” first. When one person is in a bad mood, that energy can spread to the rest of us and make us all grumpy. But going through these moments I’ve learned to either tune out the negativity or try to lighten the mood.
3. The art of compromising
Some of the most infamous lines amongst us: “I’ll ___ if you don’t tell mom/dad!” Not only does comprising mean trying to make up for something when you know you’re in the wrong, but it also means learning you can’t always get everything you want for the sake of others. In order to try to keep the peace and at least a small amount of sanity, sometimes you have to comprise with your siblings.
4. The importance of forgiveness
It’s hard to be forgiving when someone eats the food you were saving in the fridge or breaks something of yours. But grudges I would try to hold never lasted long. I always forgave them in the end, and will continue you to do so. I’ve also learned how to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made in their eyes, as they’ve always forgiven me at the end of the day as well.
5. The true meaning of unconditional love
To give affection and love without limitations or conditions has been the greatest gift I’ve received from my siblings. No matter how bad I’ve messed up, or how many times I’ve been labeled “bossy,” they’ve shown me unconditional love. When I’m feeling down and they can tell, I can always expect to be checked up on or receive a warm hug.
All of our experiences together have helped shaped me into the person I am today, and I know each of them will continue to inspire me to be the person I want to be, as well as someone they can be proud of.
