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It sucks to be single. But it sucks even more when your best friend gets engaged.
When Carrie told me that Grant had FINALLY popped the question, I was not surprised at all. I totally saw this exciting and emotional day coming back when I first met the two of them over four years ago. Don’t get me wrong; I am beyond excited that they are getting married! This is something that Carrie and I have talked about for as long as I can remember, and I know she will be an absolutely beautiful bride.
In the days following the big announcement, I’ve not only learned new wedding details and exciting information about their future, but I’ve also learned a little bit about myself.
1. I am nowhere near ready to get married.
Carrie is only a little bit older than I am, so I was a little surprised by this realization. But honestly, I am not prepared for that chapter of my life. Carrie is thrilled to plan a perfect wedding and make a new home with Grant. For me, that is terrifying. I love hearing her talk about it – she is so happy right now it is unreal. But the more I listen the more I realize that I am in no way ready for marriage. I wish I could be as confident in my future as Carrie and Grant are, but right now that is not happening. And, believe it or not, that is okay.
2. I don’t have a clue what I’m looking for in a husband.
Like I said, Grant is great. He’s kind and compassionate toward Carrie, but he’s also protective and strong. Those are all things Carrie wants and needs in a husband, and Grant fits the bill perfectly. Carrie continues to encourage me that one day I will find someone who makes me as happy as she is. I really believe her. I’m just worried that I won’t recognize him when I see him because I don’t know what I am looking for.
3. I am very jealous of her, even though I try not to be.
She has always been my prettiest friend. She has the natural beauty that we all hope for. She’s got a rockin’ body and a great sense of style. For the past four years I have been able to accept our differences and celebrate the person she is. But when I saw the GORGEOUS ring on her finger, the little green monster came out. I don’t think it’s the fiancé that I am dying to have. I think I just long to be in the same chapter of life as she is. I want us to be on that journey together. Like “Bride Wars” but better. But right now, Carrie is engaged and I’m as single as it gets. Why wouldn’t I be jealous?
4. I have a lot that I want to accomplish before I get married.
Grant and Carrie are at the perfect place in their own lives to begin one together. Before I get to that place, though, I have so much I want to do! I want to travel the world and experience new cultures. I want to survive graduate school and make a name for myself. I want to learn how to live on my own and experience my own independence. I won’t be ready for marriage until I do all these things. Just because it’s the perfect time for Carrie to become a wife does not mean it is the right time for me to get an engagement ring.
5. I need to be as supportive as possible for Carrie.
She needs me more than ever right now. With all the changes coming her way and the massive amount of planning she will be doing, she needs help. I have to suck it up and be there for her just like I know she would be there for me. Right now, even though I am having a hard time, is not about me. It is about Carrie. So I need to grow up and be as supportive as possible.
Carrie and Grant have a happy life ahead of them. I’m just thankful I’ll be a part of it.
Here’s to the happy couple!