5 Things About Being A First Time Mom

5 Things About Being A First Time Mom

Moms are the real superheroes
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When I was a little girl, my family was blessed enough to have my mom stay home to raise us. She took us to school, she was there when we came home. She took us to go to our friend's house or whatever activity we were in at the time. It wasn't until my brothers and I were in school that she went back to work. Luckily enough my mom got a job at the school so she would be at home by the time we were done for the day.

This summer I was blessed enough to have my first child, Riley. She has been the light of my life and to be honest I do not know what life was like before her. My husband has made it possible for me to stay at home with her. It is something I have always wanted. To see everything she does and be her biggest fan.

When I got pregnant with her I didn't anticipate all the hard work raising our little girl would entail. Being a first-time mom you think of all the great moments you will capture and day-dream about who she will look like and all the great things having a baby does to your life.

1. SLEEP

What I didn't realize is how I will never sleep fully again. Probably EVER. When you first bring your baby home it is rough. You are up every 3-4 hours feeding, burping, changing and rocking back to sleep. By the time you get the baby to bed and you lie back down the baby is up again. It is so hard to adjust to becoming a zombie but somehow you make it through. As your baby gets older like my daughter is 4 months, I got her sleeping through the night. It is wonderful, but I still wake up to check on her to make sure she's alive and well. I think once you become a Mom you a programmed to worry 24/7.

2. FIND A ROUTINE

As best you can and for your own sanity try to find a routine. I started giving my daughter a bath every night around the same time. I think now she knows that once she gets her bath and nurses one more time it is time for bed. Even in the mornings, I have a little routine with her to help me get things done and help her get satisfied. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone but yourself.

3. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE

I learned this the hard way. I was so emotional after having my daughter that I felt like I cried at everything. I cried at commercials to my dog sneezing it was just crazy. What I didn't do was communicate fully with my husband. There were times that I thought in my head he should just know what to do and when he didn't do it I would get so mad at him. I felt like he should read my mind. That is so unrealistic and unfair. The more I told him what I needed from him to do for me the more he did it. It was a magical thing.

4. RECOVER

Whether you have a vaginal birth or c-section take care of yourself. I had to have a c-section and the recovery time felt like it took forever. It was very painful and the stitches hurt very much. I was lucky enough that my husband helped me do everything from go to the bathroom to help me out of bed in the middle of the night to feed the baby. Do not feel like you have to be superwoman. Having a baby is so beautiful and you want to do everything for that baby but make sure you give your body enough healing time.


5. MAKE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE

As hard as it is having a baby make sure you take time for your spouse still. Both of you are adjusting to having a baby in the house. You both are tired getting up to feed or change the baby and its hard on both of you. Make sure to tell him you love him every day. How thankful you are for his help. Make sure to just let him know how much you love him and are grateful for him. He will feel left out and won't know what to do unless you tell him and reassure him.

Being a first-time mom really puts things into perspective. You never understood what your mom would mean when she would say things like "You will always be my baby". It is true I am forever grateful to my mom who spent the majority of her life caring for us. The sacrifices she and my dad made, she stayed home every day to take care of us and the years she went without so we could. I know what she meant. I would give anything so my baby will be happy. I will do anything to see that happen. Being a first time mom or a mom in general is the most amazing thing in the world. Its the greatest gift. Just remember to remember all the little things and cherish them if you are blessed enough to stay home with your little one.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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A Letter To The Grandpas Who Left Far Too Soon

The thoughts of a girl who lost both of her grandpas too early.
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Dear Grandpa,

As I get older, my memories are starting to fade. I try to cling to every last bit of memory that I have of you. There are certain memories that have stuck well in my brain, and I probably will never forget them, at least I hope I don't. I remember your smile and your laugh. I can still remember how your voice sounded. I never want to forget that. I catch myself closing my eyes to try to remember it, playing your voice over and over in my head so that I can ingrain it in my memory.

I always thought you were invincible, incapable of leaving me. You were so young, and it caught us all by surprise. You were supposed to grow old, die of old age. You were not supposed to be taken away so soon. You were supposed to see me graduate high school and college, get married to the love my life, be there when my kids are born, and never ever leave.

My heart was broken when I heard the news. I don't think I had experienced a pain to that level in my entire life. At first, I was in denial, numb to the thought that you were gone. It wasn't until Thanksgiving, then Christmas, that I realized you weren't coming back. Holidays are not the same anymore. In fact, I almost dread them. They don't have that happy cheer in the air like they did when you were alive. There is a sadness that hangs in the air because we are all thinking silently how we wished you were there. I hope when I am older and have kids that some of that holiday spirit comes back.

You know what broke my heart the most though? It was seeing your child, my parent, cry uncontrollably. I watched them lose their dad, and I saw the pain that it caused. It scared me, Grandpa, because I don't ever want to lose them like how they lost you. I can't imagine a day without my mom or dad. I still see the pain that it causes and how it doesn't go away. There are good days and there are bad days. I always get upset when I see how close people are to their grandparents and that they get to see them all the time. I hope they realize how lucky they are and that they never take it for granted. I wish I could have seen you more so that I could have more memories to remember you by.

I know though that you are watching over me. That is where I find comfort in the loss. I know that one day I will get to see you again, and I can't wait for it. I hope I have made you proud. I hope that all that I have accomplished and will accomplish makes you smile from ear to ear. I hope that the person I marry is someone you would approve of. And I hope that my kids get more time with their grandpa than I did because the amount I got wasn't fair.

I want to say thank you for raising your child to be the best parent ever because they will one day be the best grandparent ever. Just like you.

Cover Image Credit: Katelyn McKinney

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Having Divorced Parents Was The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Me

I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Imagine being four-years-old and having your parents sit you down and tell you they are getting a divorce.

Then they tell you everything will be OK, and that it won’t be any different except “Mommy and Daddy just won’t live in the same house anymore.” And you think, yeah, OK, they’re right.

Nope. Your life will never be the same after that.

Imagine being nine-years-old and having your mom tell you she is getting remarried. Then your life gets completely flipped upside down AGAIN.

If someone would have told my nine-year-old self that ten years down the road, I was going to be as close with my stepdad and stepsisters as I am now, I would have said you were lying. Let’s be honest, what nine-year-old is thrilled that their mom is getting remarried. I know I definitely was not.

Before my mom got remarried, I was an only child. Thinking back, what a lonely childhood that would have been.

Looking back at my life since then, I could not be more blessed. I cannot even imagine what my life would be like without my family.

When kids are younger, often times having divorced parents is something they think they should be ashamed of, and it’s something they try and hide.

Out of my friend group growing up, I was one of the very few who had divorced parents. Even to this day, when I tell other people my parents are divorced they say, wow I’m sorry.

Having divorced parents is not something you can understand unless it happens to you. And trust me, my life would be nowhere near where it is now if my parents were still together.

I honestly don’t think I would be anywhere near the person I am today if my parents were still together. As crazy, and sad as that sounds.

They always say that dealing with your parent’s divorce forces you to grow up way faster than normal, and damn they weren’t lying.

But looking back on it all, I wouldn’t change anything about my life if I could. I am so proud and shameless of my family. They make me who I am today, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I cannot imagine any family dinner, birthday, Christmas, or movie night without them.

Cover Image Credit: Allie Bishop

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