Yes, I am writing this article as a way of procrastinating.
1. Realization
You might be out enjoying a night with your friends, or you could be watching Friends on Netflix. Either way, you were out living your regular day to day life when a feeling of panic falls over you hard and heavy. That seven-page research paper you were supposed to write is due in 12 hours and you have yet to even open the assignment. As you sit there, you wonder how you could be so careless to forget about something so important. Then you remember it was probably that beer pong tournament last night.
2. Bargaining
The first step is to decide how long you can get away with not doing your work. Once you've decided you can probably get away with doing it within three hours, you can set your alarm for nine pm and be on your way to watching half a season of the TV show of your choice. Once that alarm goes off you get to continue telling yourself that five more minutes isn't going to matter that much in the long run.
3. Distractions
You're finally ready to start your paper, but who can start a paper with a dirty room. So make sure you clean your room, do your laundry, organize your desk, you name it. How are you supposed to concentrate while all those dishes are in the sink. Also wouldn't it be easier to write after you wake yourself up with a shower, but set a timer so you can ignore it when it goes off.
4. Calculating your GPA
You now have realized that there is no possible way to make an A on this paper. It is time to start looking at how this is going to mess up your GPA. Start with figuring out how this is assignment is weighed, then use that to figure out what you're going to have to make on your final to make up for tanking this.
5. Complaining
You've opened the assignment, you've written the title, you now have about two hours to complete it. Take a deep breath and ... open up twitter and let all of your followers know that you're a part of #procrastinationnation! What's the point of pulling a 7 page paper out of your butt if you don't tell literally everyone you know about it. Make sure to live tweet the entire experience of writing your paper. Others still in the realization stage will use it as motivation to do there assignment. Some key phrases to use are "fml", "struggle bus" and the classic "help me".
